Top 10 Underrated Horror Films: Dead and Buried and Occult

It's been a few months since I've written anything here. A combination of having a new job, working on a new video project, and generally being burnt out is the reason for that. But it's October, and if you can ignore the fucking Christmas shit already being put up in stores, you know that October is when you wanna be scared the most.

Now here at Wide Weird World, we tend to focus mainly on the bad. It's easy to find and you all seem to like me bursting a blood vessel to some SOV crap. But for my annual horror list, I'm going to take a cue from last year's list and focus on the underrated. Last year it was underrated characters. This year, we focus on those films that may get overlooked when discussing good horror.

Of course these are only my thoughts and opinions, and yours may vary. Some of these will be known to you, some may or may not. Outside of one film, I've stayed away from sequels. Also due to time, it's only going to be a top ten list. You may flog me later...call me.

10 - Dead and Buried (1981)

I've talked about this film a few times over the years. I used to be a big fan of zombie films, but quite frankly I'm burned out by em. If they aren't some shit done for $32 and a six pack of Icehouse, it's the same shit regurgitated and spit into our mouths like birds being fed. This film, while it is a zombie film, really turns the genre on its head.

A photographer passing through gets more than he bargained for when the townspeople tie him up and set him ablaze. But even though this guy dies, a few days later, he's discovered pumping gas at the local gas station! How is that possible? And does it have something to do with the creepy mortician? Spoiler: It does.

The hero in this film is the local sheriff, and he's someone that most of us can identify with. Which makes what happens in the film even more disturbing...and a touch depressing.

9 - Occult (2009)

 Koji Shiraishi is one of my favorite directors in horror. I'll stop total strangers on the street to tell them about Noroi: The Curse. I had to buy a filing cabinet to store all my restraining orders.

Occult I think is his next best work...although not without some minor flaws. This is a mockumentary about a mass murder that happened on a bridge. Two people died, one guy was seriously wounded, and the killer jumped off a cliff never to be found. As the story goes on, the seriously wounded man, Eno starts to experience what he calls "miracles". 

Strange things are recorded on tape, and the documentary crew (with Shiraishi playing himself) are a little concerned about Eno. Once Koji finds out what Eno's plan is, things go really fucking dark.

Some of the effects are a touch goofy, but this is an engaging story, and there's once scene in particular towards the end that is just "holy shit." The whole film (with subtitles) is on YouTube so I fully recommend you check it out.

15 Underrated Villains #13: William G. Dobbs (Dead and Buried)

Dead and Buried is a weird movie in that it's a zombie movie, but the zombies aren't of the brain munching variety. No, these are "manufactured" undead, and the guy making this all happen...is Grandpa Joe.

Jack Albertson plays the town's funeral director William G. Dobbs. He's a carefree, if not slightly creepy, kind of guy. His skill in making even the most busted up looking dead people look like they've never been hurt is amazing. But there's something far more sinister going on afterwards.

The town is made up of with what appears the be the most evil citizens this side of Stepford. They burn a photographer alive, bash a hitchhiker's head in with a big rock, and force hydrochloric acid up some poor schmuck's nose. The kind sheriff notices things are going wrong when the dead photographer turns into Goober at the filling station. Also, someone foolishly left their arm in the grill of his truck.

I know I'm spoiling this film, but it came out in 1981, so sue me. Seems that the crazy killing townsfolk are all undead, killing more folks so they don't have to seek outside people to fill their jobs. I'll let Dobbs tell you (and the sheriff) himself.

Creepy shit eh? I'll leave the last big spoiler for you to watch. It's a pretty damn good film in the zombie genre, and seeing the Man in Chico and the Man play this dastardly evil guy is really unsettling. Go seek it out.

Fangs (1981)

Fangs (1981)

Director: Mohammed Shebl

Stars: No clue. I can't read Egyptian

Turkey is apparently not the only country that enjoys ripping off American movies. This entry from Egypt is a wild and wacky copy of that perennial midnight movie, the Rocky Horror Picture Show.

the director picks and chooses what he liked about Rocky Horror because instead of the transsexual Transylvania Frank-N-Furter, we end up with DRACULA as the main bad guy. He does have fabulous hair though. There's a Brad and Janet duo and a sort of Riff Raff hunchback, but Magenta and Colombia have been replaced with a large black vampire guy. Oh, and there's also a narrator throughout the film like the Criminologist, although this guy looks like a drunk veteran newspaper reporter.

Much like the Turkey films, this one starts out pretty straightforward, but then it veers right into Absurdville. What I could make of the plot is the fake Brad and Janet break down and arrive at Dracula's castle. He proceeds to put her under his spell and people dance badly to awful musical numbers. Fake Brad is upset but hey, what can you do? It's fucking Dracula, man.

Six Things I Took From Fangs

1.If you don't quite have the budget to recreate the "Science Fiction Double Feature" like opening, probably not the best idea to just paint the guy's head black.

2. Various songs ripped off for this movie includes the Munsters theme, Jaws theme, James Bond theme, and the Pink Panther theme.

3. The dancers in this movie look like they are as inspired to dance as a fat kid going to fat camp. Horrible choreography that any senior citizen group with broken hips could replicate. I did like that the party guests all looked like people going to a KISS concert that have only learned about KISS 5 minutes before putting on their makeup. "Hey look...I'm the Starcat!"

4. So Dracula, trying to go to the woman he desires, decides to go outside and crawl UP the damn castle wall. You own the damn place man, just walk up the stairs! Save the climbing nonsense for when you go to those outdoorsy type stores with the douchebags climbing the fake rock wall.

5. We get it movie, you love Rocky Horror. You don't have to have one of the characters actually put on a shirt with the RHPS poster on it.

6. This movie is an hour and forty minutes. It should have been like eighty minutes because there's a weird twenty minute sequence that randomly places our fake Brad and Janet at different points of their married lives. Life's shitting on them and there's Dracula all over the place...playing a repairman, a cab driver, probably a juggling narcoleptic veterinarian too (I sorta tuned out). The fake Criminologist laughs at each scenario. Why was this needed!? It totally took me out of the story of Dracula showing fake Brad and Janet fake Bergman videos on his small television. I'm not kidding about that.

Here's a clip someone uploaded on Youtube. Don't worry about the lack of subtitles...they don't help.

The Hand (1981)

The Hand (1981)

Director: Oliver Stone

Stars: Michael Caine, Andrea Marcovicci, Bruce McGill

In the past day or so, my wife and I watched this movie and Fatty Drives the Bus. Normally, you'd see me reviewing Fatty while she takes on the more "highbrow" stuff. Oh not today my friend. She took the honors on reviewing Fatty here, while I dig into some pre conspiracy lovin' Oliver Stone.

I sort of remember seeing this movie around 1983 or '84 on one of the pay channels. That would make me around 6 or 7. Obviously a good age for someone to be watching a movie about a killer severed hand. No wonder I'm so weird.

Michael Caine plays Jonathan Lansdale, the creator of the popular comic strip Mandro (or Mondro...I'm not sure). An argument with his wife in the family car ends up costing him his right hand. Life goes on, and he gets fitted with what looks like a cross between Luke's hand in Return of the Jedi and part of the Terminator. Shockingly, his wife starts showing signs of having an affair with some touchy feely yoga douchebag despite having a cyborg for a husband.

While the wife and kid stay in New York, Lansdale goes to California to teach at a small college. He buddies up with another teacher there played by D-Day from Animal House and starts boning the supermarket checkout girl. But unbeknownst to him, his severed hand decided to tag along like a devoted pet and help kill those who have wronged Jonathan.

When Jonathan's wife and kid come down to visit, the marriage falls apart and the hand gets pissed. It'd be like if Thing from the Addams Family decided to strangle the kid who kept wanting his two dollars instead of just flipping him off.

I think this film is pretty underrated as far as horror/thrillers go. It's not Stone's best work, but he shows that the talent was there, even when the box office wasn't.

Six Things I've Learned From The Hand

1. While Michael Caine is a charming almost handsome man, he should get the lifetime award for having the worst hairstyle of any leading man alive.

2. I was very disappointed that Michael Caine didn't grab a cup, crush it with his metal hand, and say "Groovy". I expect too much from my movies I guess.

3. Look, if you don't want people putting dead bodies in the trunk, then you shouldn't make trunks the perfect size to put dead bodies in. I'm just sayin'.

4. I got to admit I was a little disturbed to see Annie McEnroe play a hot young woman gleefully whipping off her clothes. Not that I minded, hey she's got nice hooters, but I wasn't expecting to see Kay Culver from True Stories getting nude here.

5. Apparently, classes at small colleges are held in somebody's attic.

6. I'm going to spoil this 32 year old movie and tell you that there's no severed hand...it's Jonathan gone crazy and killing folks without him realizing it. But why does he go crazy? His wife. She tries to pass the truck on the road on a curve and ends up getting the man's fucking hand cut off and shot into a field. Gee, a cartoonist without a hand is like a fluffer with morals...completely worthless. On top of that, she starts bringing this touchy feely asshole yoga instructor to their apartment. And let me give you ladies a Protip here...no matter how much you say how great the guy is, we're never going to like him because we know he either wants to or IS tapping your ass. So don't try.

Anyway, she brainwashes their kid to call the guy "Uncle", the codeword for "Mommy's Boyfriend". So Jonathan is distraught and goes across the country to get away from her. Yeah, he ends up having an affair of his own, but then he finds out the girl he's sleeping with is going off to LA to bang Bruce Fucking McGill. God damn Jonathan Lansdale can't fucking win for trying. So he snaps and kills them both, not realizing he's doing it. He tries to kill his wife, but that damn kid stops him. 

His damn wife ruins his life and we're suppose to feel sorry for HER? Fuck that noise. SHE made him a killer and I hope she spends the rest of her fictional life realizing that if she hadn't been a bitch and just told him she wanted a divorce instead of playing chicken on the road, maybe Jonathan wouldn't have turned into a fucking looney tune. 

I need a drink.

Enter The Ninja (1981)

Enter The Ninja (19810

Director: Menahem Golan

Stars: Franco Nero, Susan George, Sho Kosugi

I've always had a fondness for white guys as the hero in martial arts films. It's probably because they look so ridiculous doing the moves, but I love them nonetheless. From the Best of the Best series, No Retreat No Surrender, Anything with Richard Harrison....hell, I even like the Godfrey Ho ones with the guys who have headbands that say ninja on them. So finding out about this film from The Church of Splatterday Saints (Their take on the film is here ), I knew I had to see it.

I was not disappointed.

The story is about Cole (Nero), a white dude becoming a ninja master in Japan, much to the chagrin of his schoolmate Hasegawa (the eyeliner lovin Kosugi). He leaves there to go visit his old 'Nam buddy in the Phillipines, where he finds out that a greedy rich bastard (the scenery chewing Christopher George) is trying to forcibly take his buddy's land. They're running off the locals from the place (ruining many a cockfight) with the help of a comic hook handed character. Very rarely do you ever see a guy with a hook that isn't a comedy character....well unless they're leaving the hook in the side of the car.

So Cole, his buddy, and his buddy's Olivia Newton John clone of a wife (Susan George) keep the assholes at bay, as they fight the evil Christopher George and his new hired ninja...HASEGAWA!. Will Cole defeat his rival? Will his buddy and his wife end up happy together? Will Christopher George act in anything? And will the guy with the hook ever get unstuck from that wooden post he was stuck on? All these answers in more in the next....SOAP. 

Six Things I've Learned From Enter The Ninja

1. Say what you will about the bad guys, but their white suits sure do make em look snazzy...even when they get their own blood on them.

2. For some reason, they pick up some old guy selling watches and nudie pics (probably from Susan George films) to help out against the bad guys. Because when I need help fighting off small groups of hired thugs, I enlist the elderly. Well...I actually do do that, but the results aren't quite the same as they are in this film. Never give an old lady a rocket launcher....not if you are attached to your car....or the people in it. Stupid old lady.

3. When you and your ninja master buddy go out and kick some people's asses, the best way of saying thank you to him is by sending your wife over to his room to have sexual relations with him. It show you care, it shows she cares, and he'll be enjoying himself so much he won't care that he's boning your wife. That's friendship.

4. If you live at the top of a high rise building and you own a pool, do you get many complaints? I can just imagine being the guy who lives one floor down and having his dinner ruined by leaking chlorine filled water and people funk. That steak was expensive, you bastard!

5. Ridiculous Customs #421: When your buddy arrives, always have a cock fight ready to go.I don't mean penis swords, I meant two roosters fighting to the death. Animal violence is okay, but penis touching...no way, Jose!

6. If you're like me, you like going on the youtubes to watch bad movie clips. If you do, then you know about the greatest death scene ever. You know...the one where the guy gets a ninja star to the chest, and while he's falling down he looks at the camera and shrugs before dying? The man throwing the star is our hero Franco Nero and his shrugging target...none other than Christopher George. Yes, THIS is the movie that scene came from. 

For those of you who haven't seen it, then I am disappointed with you. You can watch it now or not have any dessert later. It's for your own good.

Clash of the Titans (1981)

Clash of the Titans (1981)

Director: Desmond Davis

Stars: Harry Hamlin, Judi Bowker, Sir Lawrence Olivier

If you've read up on your Greek Mythology (and you should, it's fantastically insane stuff) you know that Zeus can't keep it in his toga...and I can't blame him. Look, he's the head god, the big cheese, the one who makes people crap their togas when they cross him the wrong way, so there's a certain sense of entitlement there. So Zeus will slum it down to Earth in some ridiculous form...say an eagle, a tiger, or some glittery gold and tap himself all sorts of human asses. You don't need a Maury paternity test to know who the father of all those kids are. 

So Zeus gets himself a human bootycall and she gives birth to Perseus.Zeus gets mad that the bootycall's father would board the woman and child up in a craftmatic nonadjustable coffinboat that he makes Poseidon let out his favorite pet, the Kraken. Perseus is the very definition of a privileged child, his dad making sure everything good happens to him. After Zeus makes her kid into the hideous lord of the swamps, Thetis starts fucking around with Perseus' girl Andromeda and you know what that means....epic quest.

Six Things I've Learned from Clash of the Titans

1. More of a question than something I've learned...did anybody ever take Harry Hamlin seriously? I know he's a good looking guy, and the world needs himbos too, but you can just look at him and see his thought process. SPOILER: there isn't one.

2. "No it's OK Ursula Andress, you don't need to do anything but stand there. No, no talking needed hon. Just look pretty."

3. The Medusa scene to this day still scares the hell out of me. You can't CGI that kind of pants wetting.

4. I was hoping Burgess Meredith would have called Perseus a bum or told him women weaken legs. But he didn't. I hope his glasses got broken.

5. If this movie is any indication, the Greeks worshiped a bunch of ego havin, cat fight givin, booty takin assholes. They would have fit in nicely in classy publications like US Weekly and the National Enquirer. 

6. If I had the head of Medusa, I wouldn't have thrown it into the sea. Hell no. I'd invite every one of my enemies over to show them my new "find". I would then have the greatest set of lawn gnomes known to man. It'll say "he's particular about what he decorates his lawn with" and "don't fuck with this guy or you're gonna be a birdbath."

Mystics in Bali (1981)

Mystics in Bali (1981)

Director: H. Tjut Djalil

Stars: No one

I'm not familiar with Indonesian horror, so I'll go by what I had seen onscreen. So some white looking woman (from the "U.S.A", that's how you know she's not from there) hanging out with the Indonesian Billy Dee Williams wants to learn black magic. Billy Dee hooks her up with some ugly witch that won't stop laughing, who proceeds to tattoo this woman's leg with her tongue. Billy Dee and White lady fall in love after 15 minutes together, and then the White lady starts her training. What does her training entail? Well, if you guessed turning into a pig, laughing like you entered Big Jim's Laughing Gas Emporium, and throwing up pet store mice, then you've watched this movie before you poor dope. If that wasn't weird enough, White lady's head (along with her entrails) starts detaching itself from her body and flies around eating babies straight out the babymaker. 

This may be one of the top three weirdest films I've ever seen. EVER. Better than Lady Terminator at least.

Six Things I've Learned From Mystics in Bali

1. I heard that the guy playing Billy Dee had it in his contract that he had to be wearing a different shirt in each scene, regardless of continuity or any sense of logic.

2. If you study things such as Voo Doo and the black arts, a sure sign of your knowledge is to refer to it as "mumbo jumbo". It shows you've done your homework...in calling that school on the back of a matchbook.

3. Don't want the viewer to know what the fuck is going on? Then do what this movie does and plop the viewer from one scene to the next with no transition shots or any idea of what day it is. Who needs logic?

4. I'm not entirely sure how turning into an ordinary pig will help you defeat your enemies unless you can clog up their arteries when they slaughter you and make you into pork chops. That'll show em!

5. So Billy Dee sets this woman up to learn black magic and then he runs off and tells his uncle to fight the witch (they have some history...probably concerning a failed booty call). I had the perfect solution for Billy Dee...DON'T TAKE THE WOMAN YOU LIKE TO TRAIN WITH A WITCH IN THE FIRST PLACE! Some hero.

6. Always be sure to have some lady stalking the main characters for the first 15 minutes, and then don't show her again until she tries to help fight the witch in the LAST 15 minutes and fails miserably. THAT'S good character development !

The Prodigal Son (1981)

The Prodigal Son (1981)

Director: Sammo Hung

Stars: Biao Yuen, Ching-Ying Lam, Sammo Hung

In this Hong Kong martial arts classic, A young man is known as the ultimate street fighter in his area. He's fought over 300 times and hasn't been beaten once. Of course, he doesn't realize that his rich dad is using the young man's servant to bribe the opponents into losing so he won't get hurt. This earns him the nickname of Prodigal Son. When he's beaten easily by a  very feminine stage  actor/ Wing Chun master, he decides to buy the theater company so he can be trained by the master. There's also another rich guy looking for fights, and Sammo Hung plays a goofy Wing Chun master who also tries to train the Prodigal Son. 

Loaded with humor, lots of killing, and great martial arts moves. It's well worth a look at for fans of the genre.

Six Things I've Learned from The Prodigal Son

1. Never tell your servant to attack you at random times for training. I learned my lesson when mine threw me into a lava pit. I was a hot mess!

2. It doesn't matter who does it, but the feminine actor/Wing Chun master looks like a creepy baby without his eyebrows.

3. Considering that (SPOILER) the theater group is slaughtered and the tent burned down, maybe it's best to NOT have someone in the troupe who keeps kicking people's asses. Maybe throwing confetti a lot. Rip Taylor is a blackbelt in Wig-Fu though so he's out.

4. Protip: if someone has beaten you in a fight so badly that he renders your arm useless, not amount of training is gonna prepare you when you lose both arms. Dumbass.

5. If I was the Prodigal Son, after I learned real martial arts I'd beat the shit out of all those people mocking me. I'd EARN those 300 fights back.

6. Any move can be used as a martial arts technique, as demonstrated by Hung's toilet technique. I'm currently working on a technique that involves eating pizza. Classes start soon.

The Beyond (1981)

The Beyond (1981)
Director: Lucio Fulci
Stars: Catriona Maccoll, David Warbeck, Al Cliver

Liza inherits a New Orleans hotel from a mysterious uncle and begins working to get the place open. However, strange and increasingly grisly things keep happening, starting with a worker who falls off a scaffold after seeing a pair of eyes looking out at him from an upstairs window. The occurrences center around room 36, which coincidentally was the room of a painter/warlock who was murdered in the hotel many years ago by superstitious swamp folk because he was trying to open a portal to hell. Those jerks! Liza can't sell the hotel, because she's broke and this is her last chance. With the help of a friendly doctor, can she solve the mystery of the Seven Doors Hotel before the world ends?

SEVEN things I've learned by watching The Beyond

1. If you inherit a property, and find two people already employed there who you immediately distrust, FIRE THEM! Fire the hell out of them. You're the $#%*&@! boss, after all.

2. If you are picking up brain waves while doing an EEG on a person who has been dead for years, you're probably looking at the beginning of a zombie outbreak.

3. Do not climb ladders or scaffolds if you are easily startled.

4. Do not pick up weird ladies who hang around on bridges. In most cases you're only risking an STD, but you could get lucky and facilitate the opening of a gate to hell.

5. Do not entry.

6.  Sometimes it's best to just lie back and let art flow over you. It is not best to lie back and let acid flow over you.

7. Eyes? Where we're going we don't need eyes!

Final Exam VHS Cover

Stacey had no trouble getting an A in her Final Exam for "Murdering 70's TV Stars 101". Erik Estrada was not as pleased.

Full Moon High (1981)

Full Moon High (1981)

Director: Larry Cohen
Stars: Adam Arkin, Roz Kelly, Ed McMahon, Alan Arkin, Bob Saget

A teenager (Adam Arkin) becomes a werewolf after a family vacation in Transylvania.
 

Six Things I Learned from Full Moon High
1. The coach showers with his underage students.

2. In Romania, getting mauled by a wolf is as common as getting run over.

3. Werewolves can’t play football. Try basketball instead.

4. Punching a person at their father’s funeral is in bad taste.

5. Cops believe apes are werewolves.

6. Due to inflation, it takes eight silver bullets to kill a werewolf.

Great White (1981)

Great White (1981) 

Director: Enzo G. Castellari 

Stars: James Fransiscus, Vic Morrow, Micaela Pignatelli 

An enormous and angry 35 foot Great White Shark takes revenge on humans when they build a beach just for swimmers by a coastal town. After several shark attacks, and the Mayor does nothing to stop it, James Franisscus and Vic Morrow sail in pursuit to stop it. 

Six Things Learned from Great White 

1. Shark attacks are best accompanied with funky music. 

2. Shark attacks aren’t caused by flying chainsaws. 

3. Surfboards strongly resemble sharks. 

4. Sharks hate windsurfing! 

5. Sharks can take down helicopters. 

6. Sharks love to chow down on dummies.

Bloody Birthday (1981)

Bloody Birthday (1981) 

Director: Ed Hunt 

Stars: Lori Lethin, Melinda Cordell, Julie Brown 

Lacking consciences because they were born during a solar eclipse, a trio of 10-year-olds embark on an indiscriminate killing spree. 

Six Things I Learned from Bloody Birthday: 

1. Babies born during the eclipse are evil. 

2. Graves are the best place to have sex. They’re designed for stiffs, after all. 

3. It’s worth shooting someone over a hiding spot. 

4. Guns don’t kill people. Evil eclipse children do! 

5. Ant poison makes for a good cake topping. 

6. Choking someone with a rubber hose is better than beating them with it.

Shock Treatment (1981)

Shock Treatment (1981)

Director: Jim Sharman

Stars: Richard O'Brien, Jessica Harper, Cliff DeYoung

In the television studios of Denton Television (DTV), Brad and Janet Majors sit with the rest of the fanatics in the stands. But when their lives become part of the programming, Brad ends up in a straitjacket while Janet becomes a reality tv star. Who is behind this...and what's with the creepy blind guy? This continuation of sorts of The Rocky Horror Picture Show spoofs what is known as reality television well over a decade before it starts worming its way into our brains and rotting them.

Six Things I've Learned from Shock Treatment

1. Your In-Laws will sell you out for a nice dream house set

2. I'd like a nurse like Nell Campbell, if only she was a mute.

3. I was to go on tour as a roadie for Oscar Drill and the Bits. 

4. While the atmosphere in Rocky Horror was more fun, I'll dare say that the music here was much better. Yeah I said it. Got a problem? Take a jump to the left and get the hell away from me.

5.  Look for Rik Mayall as "rest Home" Ricky. I was so hoping he'd break out in a Cliff Richard tune...maybe Devil Woman. Those lyrics really have something to say.

6. I truly believe that Bert Schnick is a David Lynch character that ended up in the wrong movie. He seemed better suited in something like Blue Velvet, huffing gas and having sex with ugly prostitutes.

Burial Ground: The Nights of Terror (1981)

Burial Ground: The Nights of Terror (1981)

Director: Andrea Bianchi 

Stars: Karin Well, Peter Bark, Mariangela Giordano

A lonely professor brings back long dead monks, who repay their gratitude by eating the idiot. Of course Professor Genius invites three couples (and one strange looking midget with an Oedipus complex) to his home to be chased and slaughtered by these zombie monks. What a pal!

Six Things I've Learned from Burial Ground: The Nights of Terror

1. Screaming "I'M YOUR FRIEND!" doesn't really work with zombies. They're lifeist against people with fresh internal organs. And they don't have friends.

2. If you find out someone you love is a zombie, please do not offer it a body part that you may in fact need later.

3. While having a hot makeout session with your girl is a fun (and educational) activity, you might want to keep your eyes peeled for some zombie crawling out of the ground fifteen feet in front you. Just to be safe.

4. First rule of a zombie attack.barricade yourself in the house. Do not, repeat, DO NOT, get into your car and get the hell out of there. That's not giving the zombies a chance.

5. So a zombie somehow threw a spike in your hand with remarkable accuracy and is now raising a scythe to do some damage to yer noggin...what do you do? A) move around as best you can and grab the extra long scythe with your free hand to avoid decapitation or B) casually lay your head forward and let the zombies enjoy a brain treat with no fight?

6. We're screwed man. We're so freakin screwed. Game over.

The Burning VHS Artwork

No shit.