15 Underrated Villains #13: William G. Dobbs (Dead and Buried)

Dead and Buried is a weird movie in that it's a zombie movie, but the zombies aren't of the brain munching variety. No, these are "manufactured" undead, and the guy making this all happen...is Grandpa Joe.

Jack Albertson plays the town's funeral director William G. Dobbs. He's a carefree, if not slightly creepy, kind of guy. His skill in making even the most busted up looking dead people look like they've never been hurt is amazing. But there's something far more sinister going on afterwards.

The town is made up of with what appears the be the most evil citizens this side of Stepford. They burn a photographer alive, bash a hitchhiker's head in with a big rock, and force hydrochloric acid up some poor schmuck's nose. The kind sheriff notices things are going wrong when the dead photographer turns into Goober at the filling station. Also, someone foolishly left their arm in the grill of his truck.

I know I'm spoiling this film, but it came out in 1981, so sue me. Seems that the crazy killing townsfolk are all undead, killing more folks so they don't have to seek outside people to fill their jobs. I'll let Dobbs tell you (and the sheriff) himself.

Creepy shit eh? I'll leave the last big spoiler for you to watch. It's a pretty damn good film in the zombie genre, and seeing the Man in Chico and the Man play this dastardly evil guy is really unsettling. Go seek it out.

Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1971)

Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1971)

Director: Mel Stuart

Stars: Gene Wilder, Jack Albertson, Julie Dawn Cole

Charlie, a poor boy with a heart of gold, finds the final golden ticket that allows him to visit the factory of the strange recluse Willy Wonka. Along with four other kids that should be placed in a cannon and shot out at high speeds, they find a world of candy trees, chocolate rivers and orange indentured servants who sing. All aboard the boat of nightmares!

Six Things I've Learned from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

1. When the guy running the candy shop is singing and tossing out free candy like there's no tomorrow, don't just stand outside the window like some poor sad dope. Get some damn candy Charlie!!

2. If your grandparents haven't left the bed in 20 years, you live in a shack, and have cabbage water for dinner, singing "Cheer Up Charlie" isn't going to do jack shit.

3. Don't talk to strange men who hang outside of chocolate factories and apparently only sells meat cleavers from a cart. That's not the least bit creepy.

4. If burping made you fall lower when you drink fizzy lifting drinks, would farting shoot you into space...or at least your parent's ceiling fan?

5. Willy Wonka only shops at places where stuff is half off. Get it? HAW HAW HA..shut up.

6. That people who run amusement parks are stupid. Why hasn't anyone licensed a Willy Wonka nightmare fuel boat ride? I'd ride the hell out of something showing chickens being decapitated!