Burial Ground: The Nights of Terror (1981)
Director: Andrea Bianchi
Stars: Karin Well, Peter Bark, Mariangela Giordano
A lonely professor brings back long dead monks, who repay their gratitude by eating the idiot. Of course Professor Genius invites three couples (and one strange looking midget with an Oedipus complex) to his home to be chased and slaughtered by these zombie monks. What a pal!
Six Things I've Learned from Burial Ground: The Nights of Terror
1. Screaming "I'M YOUR FRIEND!" doesn't really work with zombies. They're lifeist against people with fresh internal organs. And they don't have friends.
2. If you find out someone you love is a zombie, please do not offer it a body part that you may in fact need later.
3. While having a hot makeout session with your girl is a fun (and educational) activity, you might want to keep your eyes peeled for some zombie crawling out of the ground fifteen feet in front you. Just to be safe.
4. First rule of a zombie attack.barricade yourself in the house. Do not, repeat, DO NOT, get into your car and get the hell out of there. That's not giving the zombies a chance.
5. So a zombie somehow threw a spike in your hand with remarkable accuracy and is now raising a scythe to do some damage to yer noggin...what do you do? A) move around as best you can and grab the extra long scythe with your free hand to avoid decapitation or B) casually lay your head forward and let the zombies enjoy a brain treat with no fight?
6. We're screwed man. We're so freakin screwed. Game over.
