Monday, September 29, 2014

15 Underrated Villains #14: Jack T. Rippington (Fatal Exposure)

This one's a little less well known, but I fell in lust with this wonderfully awful movie called Fatal Exposure when I reviewed it a while back. The main reason I enjoyed it was because of our main villain and my selection as #14 on this list, Jack T. Rippington.

Jack, as he breaks the fourth wall (ala Mister Roper), lets us know that he is related to THE Jack the Ripper. I'm assuming Rippington's using a fake name, because that would take some balls to decide to be known as the Rippingtons. Not like relatives of Jason Voorhees decide to have their last name be the Machetes.

The movie itself is basically a series of gruesome murders with a half assed story about Jack drinking blood to be more sexually potent and have a son to pass the family tradition of killing to. As many people as this guy kills, I'm surprised he doesn't have a raging boner throughout the movie. 

Anyway, you can tell the actor playing Jack is having a grand ol' time, because he is easily the best thing about this film. There's such a gleeful almost childlike joy in what he does you almost want to root for him instead of the moronic girlfriend who inadvertently helps him get models to kill off. She's so dumb she doesn't get the hint until the car radio practically yells at her who the killer is.

The gore in this movie ranges from Blood Feast like to pretty damn effective. The scene I've posted is an example of some of the better gore effects. So here's to Jack T. Rippington...making great grandpappy proud!

If you want to see the whole film, it's on youtube. I recommend you check it out.

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

15 Underrated Villains #15: The Tall Man (Phantasm)

My first entry on this list is a bit of a strange case. A lot of people talk about how beloved the Tall Man is, and I agree he is. But while there's been four (soon to be five) Phantasm movies, outside of cult audiences, Tall Man doesn't get a lot of love.

I first heard about the Tall Man when I first got into horror movies in the late 80's. I would religiously buy Fangoria, and to their credit they pushed the hell out of him in their pages. I always saw him as the tier below the big group, along with the Leprechaun, Candyman, and someone else you'll be seeing on this list. There's nothing wrong with being slightly below guys like Leatherface obviously, but if someone wants to expand their horror knowledge, this is the guy to start with.

The Tall Man, to the best of my knowledge (and it does get a bit murky as the films get a bit more convoluted) is an inter-dimensional alien who steals people, makes them Jawa sized, and uses them as slaves. Now what occupation best serves that purpose? No, not carnival worker you asshole, but a mortician. Things seem to be going to plan for ol' Tally until he catches the attention of nosy kid Mike, who catches the Tall Man casually tossing a loaded coffin into a hearse single handed. Of course being a kid Mike has to investigate further, and ends up pissing the big guy off.

I admit I haven't seen part four (Oblivion), but the first and to a lesser extent the second film are really required viewing. It's very disorienting not knowing what's real and what isn't. A big part of what makes the Tall Man work is Angus Scrimm, who is absolutely terrifying in the role.

And now what you guys want to footage of the Tall man. I thought this scene was a perfect example of why I put Tall man on the list. Nothing worse than seeing a giant angry looking alien casually stroll down the street.

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Candy Colored Nightmares Episode 9!

In this pizza induced nightmare, Alabaster dreams of Alice Cooper, Epic Birthdays, Exploding Love Dolls, and knowledge that the bird is indeed the word. Check it out!

Announcing this year's WWWofCF's Annual Halloween List!

It's my favorite time of year..where there's lot of halloween candy to eat (try the candy corn hersheys..they're delicious) and scary movies to see. The last two years have seen me cover my favorite horror moments and those characters I felt deserve to die. I was desperately trying to figure out which are to cover when it hit me...

Bravo's Top 100 Scariest Moments is a list filled of shit? Well yeah, but not that.

I noticed on lots of people's list, that they mention a certain group of horror villains. To me (and my wife, since we were discussing this) that if all anyone knows of great horror movie villains are just the "Big 6", then they don't watch enough horror. Not that there's anything wrong with that mind you, just that they are missing out on a LOT.

So with that, my top 15 list this year is going to cover those horror movie villains that I feel should be getting a lot more love. Some are loved by a small devoted group, but others are only in one film, and need love too.

This will be playing out all the way up to Halloween, so yes, I will actually be updating the site on a semi normal basis. Break out the booze.

My one and ONLY rule is the the "Big 6" will NOT be anywhere on this list. Who are they you ask? Easy it's:

Jason Voorhees
Freddy Krueger
Michael Myers

They will not be on this list because it's too damn easy to put them on there. So who IS going to make the list? Check back next week for number 15...a beloved cult favorite that should be standing tall with the Big 6 but isn't..yet.

See you then!

Monday, September 8, 2014

Five Fingers of Death (1972)

Five Fingers of Death (1972)
Director: Chang Ho Cheng
Stars: Lieh Lo, Ping Wang, Hsiung Chao

If you've watched at least a hand full of old Kung Fu Theater style flicks, you know the story. Guy goes to train for tournament with new master. Rival school is made up of a bunch of dickweeds who fuck with the good school. When that backfires, they hire assholes to murder them. Good guy gets his hands broken by bad guys so he doesn't learn the Iron Fist technique, but he learns it anyways. Good guy wins the tournament, but at a cost of several people's lives...and eyeballs. Served with a nice dish of revenge.

This was the movie that kicked off the kung fu movie craze here in the United States. Before long, we were overwhelmed with both good and mainly awful martial arts flicks. Personally, I love martial arts films. I remember waking up as a kid on Saturday mornings and watching it. Cartoons, Memphis wrestling, then Kung-Fu Theater. Good times.

This one is definitely one of the films you need to see if you're new to the genre. It's got fun action, lots of blood, and bad dubbing. You don't have to have all three of those requirements, but at least two of them. Godfrey Ho movies only have the bad dubbing...and white guys named Ira wearing ninja headbands. You're just not ready for that yet, noob.

Things I've Learned/ Things to Watch Out For

- There's a female character in this film who is a singer. I thought "cool, I always wanted to hear what music was like there". I'm really hoping this is a bad example, because she sounded like a cat that got caught up in barb wire. Her backing band seemed cool though.

- If you look like a Chinese Alfred Molina, chances are you're going to be a bad guy.

-If you get jealous because your dad/Master likes this other guy better to teach him his super secret fighting technique, joining the bad guys to have them break his hands is probably a bad idea. Of course, that's made apparent when they proceeded to kick his ass later and rip out his eyeballs. Well at least he doesn't have to see that he looks like Elvis anymore.

- That crazy sound in Kill Bill when Kiddo sees one of her enemies and everything turns red? Yeah, came from this movie. "It's an HOMAGE, damn you!'

- So the beginning of the movie, the main guy is sent out to train for a tournament. Next thing you know, it's been a year and he still hasn't finished training. How far in advance were these tournaments? It would be like inviting someone on Facebook to my son's graduation, even though he's in the fifth grade. And the main guy is STILL LATE for the fucking thing.

- Chinese people think that Japanese folks are long nasty haired mute savages if this film is any indication.

- Having watched quite a few of these films, the one basic rule of thumb to live is when bad guys start fucking with the hero, and the hero humiliates them, you move as far the fuck away from there as possible. Because pal, you're gonna get yer guts spilled out in front of you while you're watching Growing Pains reruns.