Sunday, November 10, 2013

The Killer's Edge (1991)

The Killer's Edge (1991)
Director: Joseph Merhi
Stars: Wings Hauser, Robert Z'Dar, Karen Black

I have something to confess...I love Robert Z'Dar. Ever since I first saw him in Soultaker (the MST3K version) I have been fascinated by this man. From everything I've read, he's an extremely nice man, which makes him even cooler to me. Sure he's not in the shape he used to be, but in all honesty, he's not a bad actor at all and should be doing character roles now. I'd cast him.

Wings Hauser on the other hand. I'm just not getting it. When was it decided to go with this guy as a leading man, even in direct to video productions? Not all that handsome, he comes off as a poor man's Gary Busey. Admittedly, this is the first Wings Hauser movie I've seen, but my recent VHS haul assures me that it won't be the last.

Jack Saxon (Hauser) is one of those Dirty Harry type cops dumbed down to action movie fans...which means that he kills everyone in sight. You'd think he'd get some prison time for that, but I guess it employs ambulance drivers and morgue attendants so he only gets yelled at and occasionally suspended. 

Saxon finds out that his old Vietnam buddy Miller (Z'Dar) is not a nice person, and have been counterfeiting millions of dollars. Oh and also challenging Saxon for the title of "killing the most people in a small area" title. Will Saxon take down his old pal who saved his life in 'Nam? Will Miller share the fake money with Saxon and they go off to Cabo together? And will Saxon's partner ever have the balls to fire a gun at someone? My money's on Cabo.

Six Things I've Learned From The Killer's Edge

1. One of the henchmen is named Tony, and I swear to God this man looks like Tony Curtis only with weird painted in eyebrows. Robert Blake in Lost Highway would have been creeped out by this guy.

2. Never let a fat naked guy in a massage parlor tell you to put down your gun. he will try to shoot you. You do not want to be known as the guy who got shot by the fat naked guy in the massage parlor. Fat naked guys will be coming out of the woodworks to get a piece of you.

3. In one scene, Saxon shows up at his fiance's place of work drunk as hell. What does she do? She teaches kids how to ice skate! I'm not sending my kid to be taught by some bimbo who let's Wings Hauser's drunken face slobber all over her! I did enjoy the comical bassoon music when El Drunko tried to get on the ice.

4. Here's a recipe for awesomeness...take one Robert Z'dar, add one (or two if you'd like) rocket launchers, throw in a pinch of maniacal laughter, mix it up and you got one hell of a villain. Fake Tony Curtis sold separately.

5. Karen Black plays someone from the FBI. I'm not sure what her rank is because she's never allowed to leave the one room she's in the whole movie. I wonder if that was the director's idea. Either he only had her for a day or two or he didn't want to run the insurance risk of letting Karen Black roam the city free. Millions of lives could have been lost.

6. I have to admit, as awful as this was, I enjoyed the hell out of it. It's fun to see Hauser "Busey" his way through a movie as a handsome action lead.  He may not be an Expendable, but for me, he sure is a Dependable.

For added fun, go read Wings' IMDb page. I'm sure whoever wrote his bio has NO connection to him whatsoever.

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