Blood Rage (1987)

Blood Rage (1987)

Director: John Grissmer 

Stars: Louise Lasser, Mark Soper, Julie Gordon 

Filmed In: Jacksonville, FL

This is a better-than-average slasher that has languished in obscurity, probably because it was not released until four years after it was made. Or maybe I just have bad taste.

In Jacksonville, Florida, in the 70s, a bratty kid (Mark Soper) manages to frame his twin brother (also Soper) for a horrific killing. Now it's the 80s, and the "good" twin escapes from the asylum where he has been locked up lo these many years. It's also Thanksgiving, but something more than a turkey is gettin' carved this year in the River City! Which twin is really the killer? Louise Lasser plays their long-suffering mom, and she doesn't save the fruitcake for Christmas. Oh boy.

Six Things I've Learned from Blood Rage

1. Ted Raimi does not want any STDs at his favorite drive-in theater, so wrap that thang up!

2. A machete can cut through a psychiatrist like a hot knife through butter.

3. If you want to get busy with a guy who has a twin, make sure of which twin you're propositioning. Actually, never mind that. Nobody can ever tell twins apart, not even their mother.

4. Dead bodies are totally moldable and posable.

5. When there is a killer on the loose, the quickest way to find him is to use yourself as the bait by making the beast with two backs outdoors in the open; just don't forget to get up and capture him when he shows up.

6.The best way to deal with stress is to sit by yourself on the kitchen floor and eat leftovers out of the open refrigerator. No joke!