Friday, May 25, 2012

Blood Massacre (1991)

Blood Massacre (1991)
Director: Don Dohler
Stars: George Stover, Robin London, James DiAngelo
Filmed in: Baltimore, Maryland

A gang of inept robbers, lead by the "charming" Rizzo (Stover), rob a video store and screw it up. When the gang forces a girl to take them to her house, they meet a family that is more than their match. Muffled voices, bad skin, and twist endings abound,

Six Things I've Learned from Blood Massacre

1. Rizzo is a sex icon. The sexual  tension he causes in every woman he talks to (they disguise it as being repulsed) could not only be cut with a knife, it could be served for lunch with leftovers for dinner.

2. Robbing a bank in a shopping center is a bad idea, but robbing a video store full of people is perfect.

3. This film has the least appealing shower scene ever. Peeping Rizzo doesn't help matters.

4.  Don Dohler had a real aversion to creating any characters that are the least bit likable.

5. It's tough to look like a tough 'Nam vet when you're wearing a Kim Carnes t-shirt.

6. As charmless as the characters are, Dohler's film itself has a cool grimy charm to it. I just need to take an unerotic shower now. No Rizzos allowed.

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