Monday, January 20, 2014

Undefeatable (1993)

Undefeatable (1993)
Director: Godfrey Hall
Stars: Cynthia Rothrock, Don Niam, John Miller

Cynthia Rothrock was one of those rare female martial arts stars in the late 80's- mid 90's. I mean rare not in that she was a female kicking butt, which she did to an above average degree, but that she may be the only action star that looks like she's going to drop the kids off at soccer practice. Not that that's a bad thing, I'm sure some people have a fetish for that, but it does make you wonder what happens at PTA meetings when things don't go her way.

Cynthia is a waitress who fights men on the side for extra pocket cash. She's also working hard to send her daughter sister through college. She gets arrested because them side fights aren't exactly legal and the main cop takes a likin' to her.

On the other side of town, we have Stingray. Stingray is your average run of the mill sadistic fighter who enjoys nice flowers, a good dinner, and forcibly raping his wife/girlfriend. She has enough and leaves, which causes Stingray to go off his rocker and start killing women who look like his beloved. Oh he has mommy issues as well.

So Stingray's chocolate gets stuck in Rothrock's peanut butter when her sister is murdered by Stingray. She and her stalkish cop pal try to reach him before he kills again. Spoiler: He does.

Six Things I Took From Undefeatable

1. If the woman you run into does NOT look like your ex, it's only polite to apologize about running into her. Be a crazy serial killer...DON'T be an asshole.

2. Apparently you can enroll people in college without their permission! Won't my neighbor be mad when he finds out I enrolled him at Yale. He really wanted to go to Harvard.

3. In this city, everyone knows kickboxing. From the waitresses, to the shoppers, to the psychiatrists. Sure it cuts down on the tourists shoplifting, but when everyone can kick your ass, no one can kick your ass. Put THAT in a fortune cookie.

4. I know it probably looks cool, but fish don't appreciate you decorating their tanks with eyeballs. Get a nice neon castle for them to swim in and out of. It's not always about you.

5. I'm not blaming the victims here, because the man was obviously deranged, but if you're going to out with giant hair and dressed like you're going to the mall,'s not such a bad thing.

6. All during this movie, there was this odd feeling that I knew this film. No, not from the bonus clip, but the overall tone of the movie. It's right at the tip of my tongue though...I wonder what this director Godfrey Hall has done. Checking.....

...Godfrey Hall

Godfrey Ho


While I try to get over this Ho down, here's the final fight from this shitheap. I'll be..."seeing" you again soon. I'm sorry.

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