The Shining (1980)

The Shining (1980)

Director: Stanley Kubrick

Stars: Jack Nicholson, Shelley Duvall, Danny Lloyd

This is one of those films that all of us who enjoy horror movies know about (and cherish), but I'll explain the plot anyways.

Jack Torrance, failed writer, successful drunk, and accidental child abuser, gets a job as the caretaker of the Overlook hotel in Colorado. He and his family get this giant creepy ass hotel to themselves for the winter. Plenty of places to sleep, food coming out the yin yang, and all the peace and quiet one needs to write a novel. Oh yeah, the previous caretaker went bonkers and chopped up his family, but let's "overlook" that (I slay me). Once there, the hotel starts fucking with Jack's head until he's sipping on imaginary booze, making out with old rotting corpses, and generally spouting off Tonight Show lines. His weird kid has the "Shining", which means he writes words backwards in blood, has tenants living in his mouth, and is forced to see two ugly twins want to play with him. Poor Shelley Duvall.

Six Things I've Learned From The Shining

1. Call me a bastard, but if some kid was sending me horrific images from a great distance, my first thought wouldn't be to go help the kid but to want him to shut up so I can finish watching this rerun of Designing Women. Oh that Suzanne Sugarbaker!

2. So if you become part of the hotel, I imagine in addition to those great parties of the 20's you get to go to (see the ending) that you would also be stuck watching some fat guy from Knoxville on vaction taking a massive dump in his bathroom as well. No wonder that hotel is angry all the time.

3. I really want some paintings of nekkid women with giant afros like Halloran had in his condo. Since he's dead....hmm...

4. The scene where Jack meets the former caretaker (demoted to being a butler) is one of the creepiest scenes I've ever seen. I still scream and run away when I see one of those guys that hand out towels in fancy men's rooms.

5. All Work and No Play went to number 3 on the NY Times Bestsellers list.

6. I find it hilarious that to scare the wits out of Shelley Duvall, the hotel immediately thinks to have her interrupt oral sex between fozzie bear and his well dressed suitor.