Saturday, October 27, 2012

WWWofCF's Top 15 Favorite Horror Movie Moments: The Top Ten!

Since Halloween tip toed it's way up on me, I'm going to bust out the last ten choices for my favorite horror movie moments. These are not in any particular order and the only rule was that it come from a horror film.

Without further ado, let's get to the top ten.

10. "What's Behind Door Number 1?" - Texas Chainsaw Massacre

This was a film that everytime I saw it, the lights were off for some reason. So therefore, I would end up pissing the bed afraid that Leatherface would break out his chainsaw and gut me like that fat guy in the wheelchair. I'm not as scared now (plus I have rubber sheets) so I can appreciate what Tobe Hooper did in this film with a budget of 14 bucks.

This scene is my favorite because of a few reasons. One, someone dies...always a plus. Two, the introduction of Leatherface in glorious fashion (and he is a fashion plate). And C, the idea of not knowing what the hell ol' Leathy is going to do with this guy once he drops him like a bad habit. I bet he's gonna make out with him. That pervo.

9. "I Think That's Expired"  - Zombi 3

Let's face it, Zombi 3 is a terrible film...except this scene. No matter how many times I see it, I think of those flying medusa heads in the NES classic Castlevania. Man I hated those damn heads/ Bastards.

8.  "Tarmania Running Wild!" - Return of the Living Dead

Zombies don't really scare me. Yeah, they look gross and all, but none of them really frighten me. Tarman scares the hell out of me to this day. I mean if I saw a regular zombie walking the streets, I'd be alarmed but could probably take him out. If I saw Tarman, I'd throw any man woman or senior citizen in my way to get away from it. I have to go change my pants now. Damn it.

7. "A Creepy Doll Walks in A Bar" - Deep Red

Look, I'm quite alright if somebody wants to kill me. It's nothing new. I'm still hiding from those Target employees after yelling "BUY ONE GET ONE FREE TV'S" on Black Friday. If those people really wanted to catch me, all they would have to do is dress this doll/robot as a Target Cashier and I'd jump out the window.

6.  "Would you like some towels?" - The Woman in Black

If the title confuses you, let me explain. I went on vacation once. Just once. Was hanging out in Orlando just having a good ol' time. Now if there's one thing we can all agree on, is that we all get startled when woken up suddenly from a deep sleep. I was staying at this questionable motel when I was awaken by the maid asking if I need some extra towels. Needless to say, I screamed like a girl, she screamed like a girl, and I had to get a new bedspread.  I know this man's pain.

5. "Chachi HATES Joanie" - Galaxy of Terror

I've always had a fascination of seeing beloved tv characters die gruesomely, like Gomez Addams playing a drunken bastard and then getting filled up with air until he exploded in the little seen Night Life. Plucking these characters out of their safe laugh filled environment and placing them in danger is oddly enjoyable to me. So when I first read that Erin Moran was in Galaxy Of Terror, I figured she would be one of the ones who survived the film.

I was wrong. Oh so wrong.

Basically this alien creature attacks people using their fear..I guess Joanie Cunninghams' fear was being in a Roger Corman film, and her poor head couldn't take it. And not a Fonz in sight.

4. "Supercrack Kills Superhos" - Frankenhooker

 One of the funniest horror movies of the past 25 years is Frankenhooker. Being a teenager when this came out, I push the button on the VHS box that said "Wanna Date?"  at least 50 times before my parents agreed to rent it out for me. I was not disappointed.

Although the supercrack scene doesn't have a lot of gore in it, it does have two other things going for it...boobs and exploding hookers.  You know you wanna watch it. WARNING: There are some ugly boobs in this scene. I'm sorry in advance.

3. "River Raft Rampage" - The Burning

This one is a recent view for me, although it came out in 1980. My wife recommended this movie to me because she knows I love me some cheesy slashers. From campers old enough to be parents of campers, a hideously burned up serial killer, and even that nerdy guy from Fast Times who couldn't seem to get it on with Jennifer Jason Leigh.

In this scene, these idiots go out camping far from the summer campgrounds. Now what is the fucking point of going camping AWAY from a campground? That's like going to a swimming pool only to travel a block or so and decide to use someone else's swimming pool that's above ground. Really roughing it. OK, so these moron's canoes are gone and they go all Gilligan's Island and build a raft out of coconuts or the campers sweaty jocks or something. A band on campers merrily make their way down the river when they spot one of the canoes.

What happens next? If you guess massive bloody hilarious death, give yourself a cookie. Only one though, I don't want you to spoil your dinner.

2. "Super Mega Video Game Killers" - Bio-Zombies

This movie is fast becoming one of my favorite zombie flicks. It mainly takes place at a tacky mall/flea market where a guy who drank expired Dr. Pepper (or maybe not) turns into a flesh seeking zombie. We follow two lovable losers who must save their wimmins and save the day. Do they? Go watch it yourself you lazy bastard!

This scene is my favorite because it parodies videos game perfectly. The 5 survivors get weapons and we're treated to a "screenshot" and mini bio for each character.  It may not be scary, but it sure as hell cool.

1.  "Winner Takes It All" - Venom


Klaus Kinski battles a deadly Black Mamba to the death in a performance so over the top, Rip Taylor felt it was too much. Who dies? No matter what, we all win.

1 comment:

  1. The Burning! Oh yeah! Epic post. Great job.


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