Monday, November 19, 2012

Street Trash (1987)

Street Trash (1987)
Director: J. Michael Muro
Stars: Pat Ryan, James Lorinz, Tony Darrow

Do you think that all homeless people are poor lost souls who just need a hand? Well not if you watch this film. Everyone in this film (except for the tough as nails cop) is a pretty scummy character and I welcomed each death. A liquor store owner finds a hidden case of booze that he sells to his mostly homeless clientele for a buck. Sounds like a deal? Not when you're melting and looking like what happens when you mash all the playdoh colors together and throw some of your big brother's He-Man slime pit slime on top.

There's also some story about some crazy Nam vet homeless guy who runs the junkyard. And everyone's ugly. No wonder Lloyd Kaufman hates this film.

Six Things I've Learned from Street Trash

1. When you're done with your drunken date, take the time to take her home, instead of passing out and having her be carried away by the homeless version of Freaks.

2. A great business practice is to constantly insult your customers and call them every vile name you can think of. Flyers help too. Flyers with vulgarities.

3. It is police procedure to throw up on criminals after catching them.

4. If you see a large black man with a gas mask start stuffing his pants with meat, I'd just let him keep it.

5. I gotta admit, there's some damn good deaths in this film.

6. I was just on the verge of hating this film until the odd subplot about the restaurant owner (mob movie guy Darrow) trying to kill his employee (Frankenhooker's Lorinz). The ending to this film (and the song that plays over the credits) made it worth my time.

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