Thursday, March 22, 2012

Slaughter High (1986)

Slaughter High (1986)
Dirctor(s): Peter Litten, Mark Ezra, and George Dugdale
Stars: Caroline Munro, Gary Martin, Simon Scuddamore

Eight douchebags humilate some poor dope on April Fools and end up getting half his face burnt off. He comes back for revenge five years later. I saw way too much of that dude's balls.

Six Things I've Learned From Slaughter High:

1. If your high school reunion is at an abandoned locked up high school, just go to an Applebee's instead.

2. No matter how hot you are, no one is going to buy you as a high school student at 37 years old.

3. British actors are almost as bad at doing American accents as American actors are at doing British ones. Almost.

4. When a serial killer is on the loose, it's never a good idea to take off all your clothes and sit in a bathtub. Why there's a bathtub in a high school I still don't know.

5. Picking the same shower stall you used to humiliate the serial killer 5 years earlier is the same as wearing a giant neon sign that reads "HEY KILL ME!!"

6. If you stay alive until noon, serial killers have to leave you alone. Union rules.

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