Gymkata (1985)

Gymkata (1985)

Director: Robert Clouse

Stars: Kurt Thomas, Richard Norton, Tetchie Agbayani

The small country of Parmistan is the perfect setting for the American "Star Wars" program (like Endor!). The US trains and sends a gymnastics champion to go to the country and play... THE GAME! If he wins, he can ask for one request...if he loses...HE DIES! No truth to the rumor that there's a deleted scene where the shotput champion declines the offer.

Six Things I've Learned From Gymkata

1. When America needs a hero, they go to gym meets.

2. Parmistan has a small anti American bias which includes throwing drinks in faces and arrows in stomachs.

3. No matter how badass you are, crushing a man's neck with your legs wrapped around it can come off as some disturbed mating ritual.

4. The King of PArmistan has either the greatest or worst combover of all time. It's like a tidal wave on his head going from one side to another.

5. The enemy is constantly referred to as "The Other Side". They either mean Russia, or the Doors.

6. Parmistan's chief export is monstrously ugly people.