Candy Colored Nightmares Episode 1!

What do you get when you mix a fat satanist in a toga, a 3 second rule about awful singing, frozen fruit snacks, and a guy named Alan? You get Candy Colored Nightmares, the latest from the Wide Weird World of Cult Films team! We peek inside the brain of beloved masked superhero Alabaster TNT as he naps on the couch. The results may cause awkwardness and slight itching.

The Dark Power (1985)

The Dark Power (1985)

Director: Phil Smoot

Stars: Lash Larue, Anna Lane Tatum, Cynthia Bailey
Filmed In: Belews Creek, North Carolina

After an old indian passes away, his grandson rents the house out to some college girls. What they don't know is that the house rest on the burial ground of four Toltec priests, and they are coming back to raide the fridge...and kill people. But friendly ranger Lash Larue sees the problem come along and whips it...whips it good.

Six Things I've Learned from The Dark Power

1. The town is so small that their leading news story is showing footage of a dying old Indian's impression of Charles Foster Kane.

2. A whiny fat kid can easily outrun four or five angry dogs.

3. Lash Larue looks like a badass Santa Claus. No wonder the ladies want to try out his "whip".

4. I would totally watch a movie starring Earl (Paul Holman) , the fat redneck plumber in this film. I could see him in his leather jacket, driving around killing monsters and wet farts.

5. I wonder if the dumb racist roommate ran away from the Toltec priests because they were scary, or because they weren't white.

6. Toltec apparently means "Native American Three Stooges". "An axe to the chest eh? Why I oughta...:"