Paul McCartney Really Is Dead: The Last Testament of George Harrison (2010)

Paul McCartney Really Is Dead: The Last Testament of George Harrison (2010)

Director: Joel Gilbert

Stars: The Beatles, William Campbell 

Conspiracy theories always seem to amuse me. Well you haven't seen a Bigfoot, so you can't disprove that they exist and invented rollerblades to escape being noticed, can you? I thought not. I don't believe aliens are the root cause of everything, I don't believe the Shining is about Indians landing on the moon, and I don't believe Barry Manilow had anything to do with 9/11, but man there sure are a lot of people who do. Maybe not Barry. We can't smile without him.

What I'm trying to say is I think most of these people are well meaning (sometimes not so well meaning) kooks. This also goes for the decades long rumor that Paul McCartney died in 1966 and a double has been playing him ever since. How preposterous, I thought. You're speaking out loud again my wife said. Sorry, I muttered. So like most rational folk, I thought it was a bunch of hooey.

Until I saw this documentary.

The sheer amount of evidence this film presents overwhelmed me. How they managed to cram it all into two hour and still tell a tremendously true story boggles my brain. So many things that didn't fit were put together some some gloriously fucked  up jigsaw puzzle where every piece was a new design. My eyes have been opened dear readers, and I have become the Eggman.

Things I Learned From Paul McCartney is Really Dead

- Learn about that terrible night when an argument between Paul and John Lennon turned into the horrific car crash that decapitated a superstar and could have created massive suicides.

- Those harmless "lookalike" contests could have much more sinister intentions than you'd like. I bet there's an ever rotating group of David Cassidy lookalikes ready to go at a moments notice. The Cassidy Army awaits!

- How Rita, the only other person who knew what happened that night, is changed via plastic surgery. When she later tries to blackmail the boys, the MI5 try to kill her, but only succeed in getting her leg amputated. They wouldn't hear the last of Rita, now going by the name Heather Mills!

- The sheer talent of John Lennon as he proceeds to turn every single Beatles song into a memorial for his lost friend and bandmate.

- Finding just the right phrases so that when played backwards (they'd give a clue Paul was dead) is not an easy task. I tried it and all I got playing backwards is "Dan Rather is Connie Chung". 

- I'm kind of surprised every album wasn't entitled "HEY EVERYONE, PAUL IS DEAD! HE'S FOOKING DEAD EVERYBODY!" Guess it'd be hard to put pictures showing he's dead on the cover.

- You have to give William Campbell some credit. Not only did he gleefully erase his identity to become Faul by having tons of plastic surgery, but he also didn't seem to mind that his bandmates were constantly calling him a fake and making him do shit on album covers to help corroborate that idea. But Lennon was murdered after telling Faul a few weeks earlier that he planned to tell the world what happened. That sneaky bastard!

You can watch this film on SnagFilms for free! Here's the trailer:

Oh, by the way, this is a mockumentary, and Paul is very much alive. Ringo however is a Bigfoot.