The Ultimate Weapon (1998)

The Ultimate Weapon (1998)
Director: Jon Cassar
Stars: Hulk Hogan, Cynthia Preston, Carl Marotte, Lynne Adams, Daniel Pilon

When a mercenary named Cutter accepts an assignment in Ireland, he realizes too late that his new commandos are double agents for the IRA. Enraged by the deception, Cutter exacts revenge on the soldiers who hired him to do their dirty work.

Six Things I Learned from The Ultimate Weapon

1) Hogan fights wars to run away from his problems.

2) “To be opened at death” letters are popular at military training camps.

3) Hogan sucks at proposals! He doesn’t even get down on one knee. He won’t even go down for his fiancée!

4) Hogan’s kryptonite is spunky goth chicks with guns.

5) You can recognize a stripper by her baby pictures.

6) Hogan’s “Simon Says” games always end in fisticuffs.

Shrieker (1998)

Shrieker (1998) 

 Director: David DeCoteau 

Stars: Tanya Dempsey, Jamie Gannon, Parry Shen 

Clark moves into an abandoned hospital with other college students to save on money. She shortly learns the reason it's abandoned is the curse of the Shrieker. The more she learns about the creature, the quicker their lives are running out. 

Six Things I Learned from Shrieker

1. The Shrieker is the Conjoined Fetus Lady from South Park’s brother. 

2. To appease the Shrieker and save your life, you must give it five lives to feast on. A dollar menu is an option when he’s low on income. 

3. College students live in abandoned hospitals. No hobos allowed! Shriekers, on the other hand… 

4. Having short hair and a good body makes you gay. 

5. The Shrieker can move through three dimensions to land anywhere he wants. This is also known as a plot convenience. 

 6. The Shrieker has a schedule. He only kills you if it’s in his planner.