Shrieker (1998)

Shrieker (1998) 

 Director: David DeCoteau 

Stars: Tanya Dempsey, Jamie Gannon, Parry Shen 

Clark moves into an abandoned hospital with other college students to save on money. She shortly learns the reason it's abandoned is the curse of the Shrieker. The more she learns about the creature, the quicker their lives are running out. 

Six Things I Learned from Shrieker

1. The Shrieker is the Conjoined Fetus Lady from South Park’s brother. 

2. To appease the Shrieker and save your life, you must give it five lives to feast on. A dollar menu is an option when he’s low on income. 

3. College students live in abandoned hospitals. No hobos allowed! Shriekers, on the other hand… 

4. Having short hair and a good body makes you gay. 

5. The Shrieker can move through three dimensions to land anywhere he wants. This is also known as a plot convenience. 

 6. The Shrieker has a schedule. He only kills you if it’s in his planner.

The Gingerdead Man 3: Saturday Night Cleaver (2011)

The Gingerdead Man 3: Saturday Night Cleaver (2011)

Directors: William Butler & Silvia St. Croix

Stars: William Butler, Paris Wagner, Mike Manning

The gingerdead man travels back in time to 1976 and carries out an epic disco killing spree.

Six Things I Learned From Gingerdead Man 3

1. There is a “Scientific Research Institute for the Study of Homicidal Baked Goods”. The Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man is screwed!

2. Cookies can masturbate.

3. When your friends die from hydraulic acid, it makes complete sense to spray yourself with said acid.

4. Pearl Harbor never would have happened if there were no barrel jumpers.

5. Murders take precedent to roller boogie contests.

6. Adolf Hitler, Charles Manson, Jeffrey Dahmer and Lizzie Borden hate homicidal gingerbread men.