Saturday, February 15, 2014

Fangs (1981)

Fangs (1981)
Director: Mohammed Shebl
Stars: No clue. I can't read Egyptian

Turkey is apparently not the only country that enjoys ripping off American movies. This entry from Egypt is a wild and wacky copy of that perennial midnight movie, the Rocky Horror Picture Show.

the director picks and chooses what he liked about Rocky Horror because instead of the transsexual Transylvania Frank-N-Furter, we end up with DRACULA as the main bad guy. He does have fabulous hair though. There's a Brad and Janet duo and a sort of Riff Raff hunchback, but Magenta and Colombia have been replaced with a large black vampire guy. Oh, and there's also a narrator throughout the film like the Criminologist, although this guy looks like a drunk veteran newspaper reporter.

Much like the Turkey films, this one starts out pretty straightforward, but then it veers right into Absurdville. What I could make of the plot is the fake Brad and Janet break down and arrive at Dracula's castle. He proceeds to put her under his spell and people dance badly to awful musical numbers. Fake Brad is upset but hey, what can you do? It's fucking Dracula, man.

Six Things I Took From Fangs

1.If you don't quite have the budget to recreate the "Science Fiction Double Feature" like opening, probably not the best idea to just paint the guy's head black.

2. Various songs ripped off for this movie includes the Munsters theme, Jaws theme, James Bond theme, and the Pink Panther theme.

3. The dancers in this movie look like they are as inspired to dance as a fat kid going to fat camp. Horrible choreography that any senior citizen group with broken hips could replicate. I did like that the party guests all looked like people going to a KISS concert that have only learned about KISS 5 minutes before putting on their makeup. "Hey look...I'm the Starcat!"

4. So Dracula, trying to go to the woman he desires, decides to go outside and crawl UP the damn castle wall. You own the damn place man, just walk up the stairs! Save the climbing nonsense for when you go to those outdoorsy type stores with the douchebags climbing the fake rock wall.

5. We get it movie, you love Rocky Horror. You don't have to have one of the characters actually put on a shirt with the RHPS poster on it.

6. This movie is an hour and forty minutes. It should have been like eighty minutes because there's a weird twenty minute sequence that randomly places our fake Brad and Janet at different points of their married lives. Life's shitting on them and there's Dracula all over the place...playing a repairman, a cab driver, probably a juggling narcoleptic veterinarian too (I sorta tuned out). The fake Criminologist laughs at each scenario. Why was this needed!? It totally took me out of the story of Dracula showing fake Brad and Janet fake Bergman videos on his small television. I'm not kidding about that.

Here's a clip someone uploaded on Youtube. Don't worry about the lack of subtitles...they don't help.

11 comments:

  1. Hi there. You're so right about many things. But I have to tell you about the "weird twenty minute sequence". It was some kind of criticism concerning the economic chaos and social upheaval in Egypt after the 1970s. Well, you have to read about that (search for "Infitah" on Wikipedia to get the idea). While being not the best movie in the world, Fangs was a cynical satire about the bad consequences of that economic policy. By the way, I'm an Egyptian scriptwriter and film critic. I wrote a review about the film on IMDb. You can find it here : http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3301848/, I hope you like it. It may clear some things up for you, in terms of the aforementioned sequence. Lastly, the "drunk veteran newspaper reporter / Criminologist" is Hassn El-Emam; a famous Egyptian director, he did hundreds of movies between the 1940s and 1980s, and was nicknamed "The Marvelous Movies' Maker". And I think he, along with the film's music, were the best of Fangs.

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    1. Hello. I am a fan of the film "Fangs", and I was curious: do you know who owns the rights to it? I wanted to ask them if the film could possibly get a blu-ray release.

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    2. Well, a Blu-Ray for an Egyptian movie is something hard to get. The best you can find is VHS or – rarely – DVD. Though, the movie's distributor in Egypt is named "Aflam Ehab El-Lethy". And I think the movie's production company is named "City Art & City Pop" which made the movie in association with "Aflam Misr El-Alamia" or "Misr International Films". That last company was the international distributor of the movie as well, and it was established and owned by famous Egyptian director "Youssef Chahine". You can find some links to it if you google by its English name "Misr International Films". Good Luck.

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  2. I enjoyed reading your review of the film and deeply appreciate you giving us a little insight on some of the subject matter I wasn't familiar with. I did enjoy the movie despite it's flaws.

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    1. Thank you for your opinion. I enjoyed some of your reviews as well. Btw, you can find the rest of my reviews on IMDb here : http://www.imdb.com/user/ur15651776/comments-expanded?start=0&order=date
      Though, I have a really puzzling question : How did you get to watch "Fangs" ? It's rarely seen on the Arabic TV channels, and I'm pretty sure it isn't available on VHS or DVD out of Egypt (or in Egypt itself to tell you the truth !). I hope to tell me about that, and please tell me if you wrote about other Arabic films too. Thanks again :)

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    2. To be honest, I got it online, but don't quite remember how I got it. It looked to be taped off television because there's a TV logo on there. Mine were fansubbed so I could follow (somewhat) what was going on.

      As for other Arabic films, I don't think I've tackled any others. If you have any suggestions for weird Arabic films, by all means let me know.

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  3. Well, when it comes to "weird", we have some. Though, not many of them can be found on the internet, let alone that they'll need translation as well. But I think there is one that will have your attention. And it's very much present on YouTube. Its title is كركر or Krkr (meaning : Guffaw). It's from the year 2007, and supposedly a comedy, however - oh my god - it turned out to be sleazy crazy horror, and that's according to its horrific level of badness. Mohammed Saad, its star, is a good comedian. He made once (Ellemby – 2000) which was one of the most successful comedies in the history of the Egyptian cinema (It wasn't a very good movie, but it made a record at the box office). However, his movies in the last 10 years aren't only bad; they're "weirdly" bad ! And as for Krkr, it's about a rich young man who gets suddenly crazy, then a lot of conspirators try to exploit that, while Saad plays half of the characters. It may sound promising, but enough to tell you that it's so bad its makers don't include it on their IMDb pages !! Here's its link : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gWKUHpb5z74

    For the same star, and badness, here's another one. Its title is كتكوت or catcot (meaning : Young chicken) from 2006. It's the ugliest remake of Bad Company (2002) ever made !

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f_oRvYCIuWU

    I know that you're interested in only "weird", but I have to tell you, the Egyptian cinema has a long history (nearly a century), and made really great movies. So if you want to watch some of that kind, just tell me, the list is long.

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    1. I'll have to check those out for sure. I'm only interested in weird ones because of the site, but I'll gladly watch a good movie for my own enjoyment. By all means give me some recommendations.

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  4. There are many..

    For instance, El Naser Salah el Dine_aka : Saladin (1963) by Youssef Chahine. It's a historical war epic that takes place nearly in the period of Ridley Scott's Kingdom of Heaven (2005). I discovered lately a copy of it on YouTube with English subtitles. Its quality isn't the best, but HEY.. English subtitles my friend! You can find other, way better, copies on the same site, though without any subtitles whatsoever. Here's the link :
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lUfkGMX5uqg

    As for great movies, with no subtitles, try those :

    Fi baitina rajul (1961) meaning : A Man in Our Home. It's a thriller, by Henry Barakat, starring Omar Sharif; pre-Hollywood.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oi9HP076bIM

    Al-mummia (1969) meaning : the Mummy_aka : The Night of Counting the Years. Directed by Chadi Abdel Salam. Martin Scorsese adores that movie. It's an icon among all our movies, and achieved a global fame in the 1960s end. Btw, it's not a horror, only drama that takes place in one day.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l5aqoTU4WRA

    ..And there is more, and more, and more :)

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  5. P.S : I've noticed that the link of كتكوت or catcot (meaning : Young chicken) from 2006, is dead now. Here's another active one :
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KfQ6qLa0OBM

    Enjoy. And I'm waiting for your review eagerly :)

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