The Party Animal (1985)

The Party Animal (1985)

Director: David Beaird

Stars: Matthew Causey, Timothy Carhart, Strange Woman who has a crow following her

Pondo Sinatra is a college student who just came off the turnip truck...I'm not joking. He actually shows up in the back of a turnip truck. He befriends a guy named Studley (man those were some confident parents!) who tries to help him with the ladies. Apparently there are no classes here, just people humping each other like rabbits. But none for Pondo, who can't even get laid in a whorehouse....no really. The whores clock out when he shows up. Pondo tries lots of wacky ways to get him some that includes a punk makeover, his buddy playing Cyrano, and a scene that'll make Cheech and Chong team up with Scarface to form an intervention. Eventually he figures out a formula that gives him a lot more than he bargained for.

That's it...Pondo trying to get laid. Well at least it stays true to the story. And there are boobies, so that's nice.

Six Things I've Learned From The Party Animal

1. Pondo Sinatra sounds like a rival lounge singer in Star Wars. It may be the best lead character name not associated with an 80's action star.

2. As bad (and oddly enjoyable) as this film was, if you were a fan of 80's alternative rock, this has one of the best damn soundtracks ever. The Buzzcocks,The Fleshtones, Dream 6 (whose members would go on to form Concrete Blond), even REM...although I don't remember ever hearing them in the movie.

3. Women in dorms will gladly play a stripping card game if you dress up like an ugly girl and randomly show up in their room. I tried this one out once...of course I ended up in a male dorm. I stayed there for two years.

4. I don't know about any of you, but when I want to have someone mentor me in the ways of sex, I immediately think of the school janitor. The only thing I learned from my school janitor was how to find the best closets to cry in.

5. Fake rubber dongs are always funny...even when they are used to discuss nuclear war.

6. There's a beautiful blond woman who keeps appearing in the film followed by a crow's call. I assume she's some sort of devil figure, but I guess the movie gets bored of her because at no point in the film are we allowed to figure out why she's there. Maybe she likes unappealing guys. Who's at my window?