Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Creep (1995)

Creep (1995)
Director: Tim Ritter
Stars: Joel Wynkoop, Patricia Paul, Kathy Willets

Serial killer, and all around crazy laughing bastard Angus escapes from prison and instead of just getting himself some McDonalds, he starts killing. He also has a stripper sister married to what looks like a dead manatee in an open shirt. There's also a story about a female cop who takes the law into her own hands...when she's not having 8000 flashbacks to her mother getting murdered by some masked bastard.  Oh, and Tim Ritter has some serious family issues.

Six Things I've Learned from Creep

1.The baby food poisoner looked like a wax figure of Robert Blake had partially melted. AND IT WAS A WOMAN!!!

2. One of Tim Ritter's staples Asbestos Felt makes a brief appearance in this. His laugh is infectious.

3. Saddened that they couldn't get the rights to use the Radiohead song.

4. I don't know what reality Tim Ritter lives in, but a 45 year old looking leathery manbeast with soccer balls glued onto her chest is not  my idea of a good time. If I was in that strip club, I'd be asking HER to throw out dollars.

5. There's a tender scene where Angus and his sister visit the grave of their mother and wishes that she had been alive when he got out because he loved her so much. Nah just fucking with ya. He makes out with his sister on mom's skeleton.

6. After looking at Florida strippers, I wish they all could be California girls. Yuck.

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