Friday, August 24, 2012

Clerks (1994)

Clerks (1994)
Director: Kevin Smith
Stars: Brian O'Halloran, Jeff Anderson, Marilyn Ghigliotti, Jason Mewes

In this indie comedy that launched the career of director Kevin Smith (also made for around 37 grand), we peer into the not so average day of Dante Hicks and Randall Graves working at a convince store/video store. Returning exes, old men masturbating in the bathroom, the first appearance of Jay and Silent Bob, and gum in the locks. I wasn't even spose to be posting today!

Six Things I've Learned from Clerks

1. Your girlfriend can still be awesome even though she snowballed the brain dead guy.

2. Always bring more than one ball to your roof hockey games. Otherwise you'll have the cut the game short and go back to work.

3. Never let strange old men jerk off in your bathroom. They'll likely die and get raped...sometimes in that very order.

4. Don't trust a man who carries around used trach rings and pictures of gross lungs. They're either work for the chewing gum industry, or they want you to end up in a bathtub full of ice.

5. This movie showed me that women with penises was something people wanted to watch, instead of what happens at the end of every blind date I went on in the 90's.

6. As hard as I try, I still can't dance as well as Jay and Silent Bob. Bastards.

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