Friday, December 5, 2014

Fairy Tales (1978)

Fairy Tales (1978)
Director: Harry Hurwitz
Stars: Don Sparks, Sy Richardson, Linnea Quigley

As with most sex comedies, this one is pretty straight forward. A prince on his 21st birthday must find a woman that can get him "excited". So he sets off to Fairy Land where he meets a bunch of famous children's book characters doing things I ain't never read about. Maybe in Playboy, but I just look at that for the ads.

For a young man growing up and starting to really notice girls, waking up after my parents went to bed, sneaking my way to the living room, and seeing this on late night cable was like hitting the boner jackpot. I hadn't seen this movie in at least 25 years, but it brought back some fond (and slightly embarrassing) memories.

Although there is lots and lots of full frontal nudity in this, the way this is all presented makes it come off less sleazy than just goofy. Outside of a few lame risque jokes, and of course fully naked women, there's nothing really offensive here. Fun and harmless.

Things I Took from Fairy Tales

- This movie reminds me that Professor Irwin Corey is still alive at 100! I wonder if he watches this on a loop.

- Naked Angela Aames as Little Bo Peep? DEAR GOD YES PLEASE!!

- Odd thing to notice while tits are on screen every 15 seconds, but Don Sparks, who plays our hero the Prince, does a really good job in the role. Has a real everyman quality to him. He's done a ton of TV work since then.

- I think if you had a sex comedy at any time during the 70's (and early 80's) there has to be one character that's a complete flaming homosexual stereotype. In this case, it's Jack to the always horny Jill. I got something you can fetch. That was for Jill...not Jack. I swear. Shut up.

- I had completely forgotten that this movie had musical numbers in it. Some not that great, but the Snow White song about her sex starved seven dwarves is a highlight.

- Never thought I would see a trio of naked masked ladies singing a song about S&M in the vein of the Andrews Sisters. One of those naked beauties is Evelyn Guerrero, who is best known as Donna in the Cheech and Chong movies.

- If you watch the aforementioned S&M number, watch for the chained up guy really having a good time. You'll know who I'm talking about.

-The little guy helping the weird cop looks like a tiny Iron Sheik.

- Ol' King Cole was a bug eyed overacting soul. A bug eyed overacting soul indeed.

I wonder when Gussie Gander has to replace the carpeting in her shoe of ill repute, if she goes shag or Dr. Scholls. Maybe she's gellin'.

-I'm surprised to see how fresh faced Linnea Quigley is in this film (she still looks great today). I then noticed she was nude. Suddenly things got awkward. I shouldn't have watched this on the library's computer. 

At the end of this movie, they promised us three prizes. I don't care about the love potion or the cod piece (I already have a custom one), but the sheep...I have a friend who's in need of one. For the wool I mean. Really. Stop looking at me like that. Don't you walk away from me!! STOP SHAKING YOUR HEAD!

 If you want to see the whole thing, it IS on YouTube. But it's very NSFW. But here is a compilation of the doorman to Mother Hubbard's cat house. One of the unsung heroes of this film if you ask me.

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