Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Death From Above (2012)

Death From Above (2012)
Director: Bruce Koehler
Stars: Kurt Angle, Tom Savini, Sid Vicious (the wrestler, not the long dead Sex Pistol)

Kurt Angle, doing the worst impression of a redneck ever, runs his truck into a tree. While he tries to figure out how his "drivin' through trees" theory might have gone wrong, he finds a souvenir medal and starts killing people. It's a common reaction, I hear. 

Meanwhile, we're forced to peek into the life of good ol' boy Gunnar...yes Gunnar. When he's not out with his giant buddy Animal, he's getter harassed by the Man (Tom Savini), or forcing women to mud wrestle each other. Krazy Kurt tries to kill Gunnar because he has one of those souvenir medals too. Probably because he was cramping on Kurt's fashion style.  

There's also a conspiracy nut, a psychic with giant boobs, and a terrible punk band called Anti-flag.Oh yeah, Sid Vicious is driving around in a muscle car staring at you. It's as bad (or as awesome) as you think.

Six Things I've Learned From Death From Above

1. It is scientific fact that if you are thrown into a mudpit, you are unable to resist your primal urge to mud rassle. It's freakin science, man!

2. A redneck demon listening to awful punk music may be Kurt Angle's greatest role yet!

3. I'm a fan of James Storm's wrestling (He's a pro wrestler for those who don't follow wrestling) but acting may be a touch out of his reach. I dunno if it's his line delivery or the fact that it looks like he was always looking at something offscreen. Either way, sorry bout his damn luck.

4. This movie is both terrible and tremendous all rolled up together. Making horribly happy babies together. A must see.

5.  Robert Z'Dar is in this. If you're thinking of how he looked in say Samurai Cop, think no further (if you're thinking about Samurai Cop, that won't be hard). The Robert Z'dar we get...well...he's a macy's parade balloon. He's so swollen looking I thought he was going to explode like Mr. Creosote.

6. If this movie did anything, it gave me a new nightmare image. Few things are as frightening as Sid Vicious sitting in a sports car wearing his "tonight...you" face.

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