Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Zombie Vs Ninja (1989)

Zombie Vs Ninja (1989)
Director: Godfrey Ho (well at least the scenes with white people in it)
Stars: Pierre Kirby, Dewey Bosworth, Patrick Frzebar

It's really hard to describe this....film. director Godfrey Ho took a typical film about a guy seeking revenge against those who killed his dad, threw in a bugs bunny looking undertaker who trains him, add horrible dialouge over it, and then film additional scenes with a whole other subplot filled with white people in ninja outfits made out of multicolored hefty bags. There's also mention of gold but I'll be damned if I saw any.

Six Things (HA!) I've Learned from Zombie Vs Ninja

1. I have trouble believing that there were people in China named "Ethan".

2. Instead of finding a needle in a haystack, you're more likely to find a dead body. That's a lazy ass Undertaker

3. You could tell the white guys (with great names like Duncan, Ira, and Bobby) were ninjas due to the headbands with NINJA written on it. I'm not kidding. Look!

Ira the ninja strike a fearful pose.

4. Godfrey Ho really enjoyed making the Bugs Bunnytaker talk about taking a shit.They do at least three or four shit jokes. They stunk.

5. Ninjas are able to hide in the forest with their neon yellow and pink outfits. Like chameleons.

6.  At no point whatsoever did I know what the hell was going on. Ever. Ethan's fighting a bad guy, then Bugs Bunnytaker has a cross the world conversation with the All American Ninja...then some evil woman is killing guys she sleeps with...AND I NEVER FOUND OUT ABOUT THE F'ING GOLD!!

I either hate you or love you Godfrey Ho. Mostly hate though mixed with a little bewilderment and slightly frightened.

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