Baby Ghost (1995)
Director: Donald G. Jackson
Stars: Joe Estevez, Erin O'Bryan, Conrad Brooks
In this shot on video rarity, Joe Estevez is a studio photographer in what appears to be an office building. He wears an annoying bow tie, there's some lame psychic love interest also in the building, annoying kids, a dumbass security guard, and the eternally annoying Conrad Brooks. Oh and there's some ugly ass "ghost baby" that's running amok. None of it makes sense.
The guy who made this also "directed" Hell Comes To Frogtown. I liked that movie. This barely counts as a movie. In fact, it may have replaced Death Nurse as the worst movie I've ever seen. Sadly, I'm sure that'll be topped soon.
Six Things I've Learned About Baby Ghost
1. If you're a big fan of watching people walking around an empty office building, then this movie is straight up porn for you. Sit back, grab some tissues and enjoy the mundane wallpaper!
2. There must be some agency that only specializes in inept security guards. "What? No, I don't want the former trained policeman, I want the rat faced guy who can't even catch an 8 year old! He'll keep my building safe!"
3. There's a scene when Conrad Brooks literally tells the plot of Plan 9 From Outer Space (although he calls it Flying Saucers Over Hollywood). If poor Bela could see Conrad's acting, he'd yell "PULL ZE PLUG! PULL ZE PLUG!" Man, Conrad Brooks sucks.
4. They lure the baby ghost with one of those cheap Tiger electronics handheld games. I should have known that shitty special effects would be drawn to shitty handheld games.
5. There are two impossibly stupid crooks who break into the building for no reason. I don't have a joke there. They don't interact with the other characters, they see the ghost and get scared, and we never hear about them again. I hope they rot in that office building in bad movie purgatory.
6. I can't believe I'm saying this...but I felt bad for Joe Estevez. This movie was beneath him. Let me state that again in bold....BABY GHOST IS SUCH A SHITHEAP OF A FILM THAT IT WAS BENEATH JOE ESTEVEZ'S ACTING TALENTS.
|"WHAT!? I get second billing behind Estevez!?"|