Thursday, June 18, 2015

Candy Colored Nightmares S2E1!

Today has been an exciting day here in Cult Film land. In addition to getting 1000 likes on Facebook, we have a brand spanking new season of Candy Colored Nightmares for you all! In this look into the dreams of Alabaster TNT, we see a somewhat brutal mashup of celebrities singing. It's as bad as it sounds but hey, there's bonus Thor for you all! Enjoy!

Friday, April 3, 2015

Six Movies You Must See of Robert Z'Dar

I had planned to write about my favorite six comedies, but I was extremely saddened to learn that Robert Z'Dar passed away this past Monday. When I say he was one of my favorite actors, I don't mean just for cult films. I mean he was legit one of my all time favorite actors. Many days I would bug my wife about watching one of his films, and because she loves me (and is a fan of his as well) she'd oblige. She's a keeper, that's for sure.

So I decided to take a quick look at six movies with Robert Z'Dar that you should take a look at.

Blood Money/Killer's Edge

I reviewed this one here, but a quick synopsis for you all...Wings Hauser is after bad guy Robert Z'Dar, but he doesn't really want to because Z'Dar saved his life in 'Nam! There's action, a guy who looks like a cartoon Tony Curtis, Z'Dar blowing shit up with a rocket launcher, and so much more. So take your drunken Wings and watch the fun. Oh and Karen Black is locked in a room for the whole film. Bonus.

Samurai Cop

Most of you reading this already know about Samurai Cop. It's a Lethal Weapon ripoff with a sometimes wigged Matt Hanon and his partner Frank taking on a Japanese gang led by a gloriously mulleted leader. His right hand man of course is our beloved Z'Dar. Robert looks good with a beard here. I wish he'd kept it for other roles.

Final Sanction

In this AIP "classic" Z'Dar plays the biggest and baddest Russian taking on America's best Ted Prior to see who has the better country. I guess ticket sales weren't good (or they were all watching Rocky take on Drago) because they fight in an abandoned army building. It's one of the few times that Z'Dar turns out to be a good guy. A good Russian in the 80's? Don't be Reedickulus!

  The Night Stalker

No, not the Kolchak series (or TV movies), but the 1987 film starring Charles Napier in one of the very few leading roles for him. This is also one of Z'Dar's first movies, and I bet the reason why he got the Maniac Cop role. I don't know why filmmakers try to make him Japanese though, it's not like he looks remotely asian.

This movie only had one clip on Youtube (and that one was only of Napier) so I ripped this scene myself to share to with you. You're welcome.

Maniac Cop Series

I'd be dumb not to mention his best loved series of films. Sadly, I'd have to admit to only seeing the first one. But I really liked it. I mean, Z'Dar, Bruce Campbell, Tom Atkins...what's not to love. The other two seem to be a bit goofier (and I'm not much of a Robert Davi fan) but any film that has a dead cop ressurection is worth looking into.

The Galactic Video Review Adventure Magazine

OK,OK, so it's not really a movie per say.  If you want another movie, see Hell Comes to Frogtown 2, where he takes over the Sam Hell role made famous by Roddy Piper. I wanted to talk about this 40 something minute video because it shows exactly why I loved this guy. Here is a lame video talking about video games and accessories, but Robert Z'Dar does everything in his power to have a good time with it. He's mugging, acting goofy, laughing uproariously at absolutely short, he's playing an insane space captain. And I love it.

As a treat, here's the entire video from youtube. RIP Robert Z'Dar...and thank you for all those hours of entertainment. God bless you, man.

Thursday, March 19, 2015

It's Wide Weird World of Cult Film's Third Anniversary!

I have to say, when I started doing these reviews, I thought it would end up like most things I work on...I'd get gung ho for a while before someone threw a foil ball and I'd go chasing it. But here it is, three years later, and I'm still subjecting myself to some of the oddest films ever made. Of course in some sick way I love it, but then again, any man who would willfully watch several Nick Millard films can't be legally declared sane either.

I'm still working on my list of favorite comedy films, I thought it'd be cool to put together a list of my favorite reviews from the over 300 posts I've done. 

Tuesday, March 17, 2015

Getting to Know Me - My 6 Favorite Horror Movies

This week (specifically March 19th) marks the three year anniversary of the Wide Weird World of Cult Films, and I thought I'd spend the next couple of weeks celebrating by letting you take a glimpse inside my brain and see what movies ended up shaping this slightly pudgy man before you. Since most of you love horror, I thought it only fitting that we start there...and going to go old school here by listing SIX of my all-time favorite horror films (in no particular order).


This is hands down my favorite slasher. Take two parts George (Christopher and Lynda), throw in a dash of Bluto from Robert Altman's Popeye, center it with the "It Stinks" guy from Pod People, and throw in generous portions of nudity and mostly bad gore, and you have one of the most insane viewing experiences of your life. Bonus Jack Taylor included.


Burial Ground

This movie may have the barest of plot (along with the barest of ladies) and zombies that look like failed plaster life cast subjects and you have Burial Ground. There's a real sense of dread watching this, and I don't mean because it's bad. You know these schmucks are doomed, and we have to watch every uncomfortable moment of it. There is some good gore in this, and some grisly deaths, but the main reason to see this movie can be explained in two words...Peter Bark

My Bloody Valentine

Oh Canada, you land of glorious horror. This film picked up where Friday the 13th left off and went after a holiday filled with love and torn out hearts. The deaths are the highlight of this film,even more so now that the gorier deleted scenes have been restored. You really need to see that goofy comic relief fully have his head pop off and his body tumble to the ground in uncut glory. I laugh every time.

Another plus is that I've interacted with Paul Kelman (who played TJ) on facebook, and he is one cool sumbitch.

Dead And Buried

This film may be the most original use of zombies ever. They aren't brainless monster out for an all you can eat human buffet, but average looking citizens who just happen to murder people. Oh but it's alright because the friendly mortician will just fix em right up so they can join the town! These zombies are much more terrifying to me than the other kind, and Jack Albertson (in his final role) seems to relish playing an evil mortician playing God. The scene where he's performing his reconstruction magic is a true highlight.

City of The Living Dead

Geez this list makes me out to be some sort of undead enthusiast. I couldn't have a list of my favorite horror movies without something from Lucio Fulchi's trilogy in it. Now for the longest time The Beyond would have been my pic...and I'm still a huge fan of it, but over the years this one (also known as the Gates of Hell) has edged it out slightly. I wish I could say it's because of the plot, or the terrific acting, but in reality it's because I enjoy the deaths just too damn much. Three brain squeezings, a drill through the noggin, and a woman showing us the way her insides work in a way that Slim Goodbody never thought to make this a seminal gore classic.


This one may be a bit of a surprise after I listed bloodfest after bloodfest, but this movie doesn't get nearly the love it should. The idea that God sends messages to folks saying "Hey yo, these folks are demons. How about I show you where there's a good axe to be found and you go chop em up for me...OK?" is something that fascinates me. Plus who wouldn't want God to blur out your face on video cameras? It sure would keep people from knowing how often I visited Big Pete's House of Sex Meats.

Next time I'll take a look at a subject that some people say I'm good at, and others wish I would stop...comedies!

Friday, February 27, 2015

Paul McCartney Really Is Dead: The Last Testament of George Harrison (2010)

Paul McCartney Really Is Dead: The Last Testament of George Harrison (2010)
Director: Joel Gilbert
Stars: The Beatles, William Campbell 

Conspiracy theories always seem to amuse me. Well you haven't seen a Bigfoot, so you can't disprove that they exist and invented rollerblades to escape being noticed, can you? I thought not. I don't believe aliens are the root cause of everything, I don't believe the Shining is about Indians landing on the moon, and I don't believe Barry Manilow had anything to do with 9/11, but man there sure are a lot of people who do. Maybe not Barry. We can't smile without him.

What I'm trying to say is I think most of these people are well meaning (sometimes not so well meaning) kooks. This also goes for the decades long rumor that Paul McCartney died in 1966 and a double has been playing him ever since. How preposterous, I thought. You're speaking out loud again my wife said. Sorry, I muttered. So like most rational folk, I thought it was a bunch of hooey.

Until I saw this documentary.

The sheer amount of evidence this film presents overwhelmed me. How they managed to cram it all into two hour and still tell a tremendously true story boggles my brain. So many things that didn't fit were put together some some gloriously fucked  up jigsaw puzzle where every piece was a new design. My eyes have been opened dear readers, and I have become the Eggman.

Things I Learned From Paul McCartney is Really Dead

- Learn about that terrible night when an argument between Paul and John Lennon turned into the horrific car crash that decapitated a superstar and could have created massive suicides.

- Those harmless "lookalike" contests could have much more sinister intentions than you'd like. I bet there's an ever rotating group of David Cassidy lookalikes ready to go at a moments notice. The Cassidy Army awaits!

- How Rita, the only other person who knew what happened that night, is changed via plastic surgery. When she later tries to blackmail the boys, the MI5 try to kill her, but only succeed in getting her leg amputated. They wouldn't hear the last of Rita, now going by the name Heather Mills!

- The sheer talent of John Lennon as he proceeds to turn every single Beatles song into a memorial for his lost friend and bandmate.

- Finding just the right phrases so that when played backwards (they'd give a clue Paul was dead) is not an easy task. I tried it and all I got playing backwards is "Dan Rather is Connie Chung". 

- I'm kind of surprised every album wasn't entitled "HEY EVERYONE, PAUL IS DEAD! HE'S FOOKING DEAD EVERYBODY!" Guess it'd be hard to put pictures showing he's dead on the cover.

- You have to give William Campbell some credit. Not only did he gleefully erase his identity to become Faul by having tons of plastic surgery, but he also didn't seem to mind that his bandmates were constantly calling him a fake and making him do shit on album covers to help corroborate that idea. But Lennon was murdered after telling Faul a few weeks earlier that he planned to tell the world what happened. That sneaky bastard!

You can watch this film on SnagFilms for free! Here's the trailer:

Oh, by the way, this is a mockumentary, and Paul is very much alive. Ringo however is a Bigfoot.

Sunday, February 22, 2015

Custom Fridge Art for Sale!

Hi friends. As some of you know, I like to dabble in what I like to call "fridge art". This is art made specifically for someone to hang on their refrigerator. I've designed a few pieces which seemed to be popular and had questions like "How can I get one of those?" and "Why are you eating dinner at our house!?"

"Are You Ready for the 13th?"

 Well now you can own one of these beauties!

For the low low price of FIVE dollars...yes, FIVE DOLLARS, you can own one of these beautifully made pieces to hang on YOUR refrigerator door.

"Blue Velvet"

"Crunchberry Blues"

"Not So Great Muppet Caper"

"Playing With the Ghouls"

"Parting of the Orange Drink"

"Leaked Sloth Nude"

"Keep an Eye Out For Ya"

"Did I Do That?"

"Tarman's First Birthday"
Now if these don't interest you, don't worry. For the low low LOW price of TEN DOLLARS, I will create a custom one of a kind piece just for YOU. Do you think Picasso charged that much? Hell no!

If you are interested in purchasing one of my pieces, please email me at Paypal accepted. And if you buy a piece, by all means take a picture of your fridge and send it!

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

White Cop (2014)

White Cop (2014)
Director: Jake Myers
Stars: Ben Kobold, David Liebe Hart, Liz Harvey

From time to time, I have people wanting me to review their movie. I've always been a bit hesitant because while I do love getting screeners (yay free!) there's this little part of me that needs to hold back if I hate it. Yes, the guy who took a dump on Nick Millard over and over again is someone who doesn't want to be a total dick to people only wanting reviews of their film.

So why did I decide to review this particular film? I saw the trailer and it actually appealed to me. Also I'm a fan of public access stuff and David Liebe Hart is a veteran of public access  due to his Junior Christian Science Bible Lesson Show.

This spoof of action films stars Ben Kobold as Kip White, a cop trying to take down the European Drug Cartel after they kill his partner and best friend. When he loses his badge he joins up with a new vigilante group to fight the cartel and end the rampant drug use of Stamp, which you can't mail but will send you to a far away place. Y'know, cause yer all fucked up.

Things I Took/Learned From White Cop

- The main character kind of alternated between hilariously inept and overwhelmingly annoying. Maybe it's because of the script (which wasn't bad at all, just a bit uneven), but Kobold does a good job overall.

- The flashback to Kip and his partner frolicking together is quite homoerotic and pretty damn funny. Who hasn't put two straws in their drink to share with his best friend...anyone? Please?

- I like that among all the insanity, there was a character (Dr. Wilder) who saw that Kip is a complete basket case. Of course it doesn't change one thing, but it's nice to see.

- I don't know about you, but I get leery whenever a tv reporter comes up to me in a bar and starts giving me pep talks. I've been on the news one too many times without my pants on.

- If you love 80's style synch music (sometimes called New Retrowave) then this film has you hooked up via the band Lazerhawk. I love that kind of music, so it's a big plus. I play it when I drive to the store. I like to pretend I'm Tubbs.

Overall, I really liked this movie. There were some plot points that got left unanswered, but for once I don't wish to spoil the movie. The look of the movie was very professional and there were traces of those by gone 80's action cop movies scattered among the comedy. The comedy hits far more than misses due to a good cast. I'm just happy to find a recent movie I didn't hate with a passion. That's the biggest thumbs up you can get from my cynical ass.

Plus David Liebe Hart is the mayor. I'd vote for him.

Here's the trailer for those of you who don't just take my word. Shame on you. I'm not hurt...I mean I am a little.