Thursday, October 10, 2013

15 Horror Characters That Deserve to Die #12 - Captain Rhodes from Day of the Dead

#12 Captain Rhodes - Biggest Asshole Left Alive

Day of the Dead is my favorite of the series. NOTL gets played so much it's lost all luster for me, and while I love the shopping mall interior of Dawn of the Dead (I'm a sucker for malls), it kinda lags at times. This one is a bit more realistic in that the people you're stuck with aren't always the people you WANT to be stuck with.

Enter Captain Rhodes.

Yes, the soldiers in this movie are portrayed as macho immature assholes, but Rhodes is head and shoulders above them all. No wonder his hair is dandruff free. Let's look at the three strikes that makes us all happy to see his demise.

1. His Hostile Takeover - The phrase "who died and left you boss of us" has never been more apt than in the situation in Day of the Dead. He might have a case seeing that it was 95% of EARTH that died and left him boss, but he doesn't have to be a raving dick about it. Rhodes and his gang of giggling goofs were sent to protect the scientists who were working on a way to fix the sudden outbreak of being dead and lovin it, until Rhodes decides to take matters into his own hands. To be in a position of leadership, one must have the charisma and social skills needed to effectively lead...which brings us to...

2. He's a raving psycho - While there may be several examples of psychos who have ruled, history has shown us that very few of them last too long in power. The fact that there's a massive horde of zombies waiting to overthrow your entrails tends to speed that process along.

Instead of trying to get everyone to work together, he seems more concerned about waving his floppy dick about and showing  that like Tony Danza, he's the boss. At one point he threatens to shoot one of the scientists if she doesn't sit down. Sitting down! He not only wants to make the decisions, he wants to control our daily functions as well! What's next, does he tell them how many wipes they have to make to get all the shit off their asses? Geez.

3. He pissed off Bub - Bub's a lovable zombie. He likes talking on the phone, saluting folks, and an occasional kidney from a dead soldier. So of course DICKtator Rhodes can't have any of that and fills Bub's only chum full of bullets. It's not like that soldier was really using that kidney!

This ends up biting Rhodes in the ass after the zombies get in the building and start munching on his buddies. As he's trying to get away, Bub, armed with a pistol, starts shooting at Rhodes with pretty good accuracy. After Rhodes makes the worst Let's Make A Deal play and opens a door filled with zombies, Bub gives him one more bullet and Rhodes gently falls into the arms of some loving zombies....who tears his lower half and walks away with it.

If a zombie (a creature that pretty much can't think) ends up getting a gun and actively shoots your ass,  that's a pretty good indication that you're a giant asshole.

Top 15 Horror Characters That Deserve To Die... by alabastertnt

No comments:

Post a Comment

Add your 2 cents here!