Thursday, September 27, 2012

Wide Weird World of Cult Radio Show #16!

A few days late and about a buck fifty short, we're back with an all new show! Dan recieves a surprise when Stan Dashley asks HIM to be his best man at his wedding! Will he accept? Will anyone show up for the party Marty set up? Will whoever parked in my parking spot please move your damn car? All this and more on the next episode of....wait...gotta stop watching SOAP reruns when I'm typing.

Listen Here!!



Track Listing

Show Opening
Ballroom Blitz (Wayne's World)- Tia Carrera (schwing!)
The Church - Goblin
Petey Wheatstraw Trailer
Die You Zombie Bastards (Movie of the same name)- Count Smokula
Theme from Lord of the Rings (1978 version)
Marty Plans a Party
Slithis Trailer
Strangers (The Darjeeling Limited) - The Kinks
Revenge of the Nerds Talent Show
Great Moments in Cult Cinema - UHF/Depressed Uncle Nutsy
Dr. Who Theme - Matthew Jason Walsh
Here in this Life (Future Force)
The Town That Dreaded Sundown Trailer
 Stan Gets His Presents
I Want Candy (Aqua Teen Hunger Force) - MC Pee Pants
He Needs Me (Punch Drunk Love/Popeye) - Shelly Duvall/Jon Brion
Star Trek Theme (Rock edition) - Cloux
Closing
KIDS Inc.- Bloodhound Gang

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Don't Go To Sleep VHS Cover

"But I'm so tired, and the bed is so soft, and my skin has grafted to the bedspread!"

Camp Blood (1999)

Camp Blood (1999) 
Director: Brad Sykes 
Stars: Jennifer Ritchkoff, Michael Taylor, Tim Young, Betheny Zolt 

Out and about on a camping trip in the woods without a care in the world, four campers found themselves in an unknown world. With the death of their guide and at the mercy of a cold blooded killer, the trip of fun in the sun soon took a wrong turn. With friends slowly disappearing, so does the chance of getting out alive. 

Six Things I Learned from Camp Blood 

1. Bird watching leads to murder. 

 2. Those who make moonshine scare people away from their site with killer clown stories. 

3. Sandals are perfect footwear for a hike through the woods. 

4. Pretty people don’t know how to pitch a tent. 

5. Serial killers aren’t good boxers. 

6. You can enter a car by being run over by it.

Rumble in the Bronx (1995)

Rumble in the Bronx (1995)
Director: Stanley Tong
Stars: Jackie Chan, Anita Mui, and Dozens of broken bodies

In Jackie Chan's American breakthrough film (which I also saw in the theater), Chan plays a Hong Kong Champion (I'm thinking knitting. Chan's an awesome knitter) who comes to New York for his uncle's wedding. Chan stays on to help the new owner of his uncle's grocery store and encounters a rowdy gang intent on chasing him around the city. Meanwhile, there's some plot about diamonds being stolen, ANOTHER gang of well dressed bad guys, and lots of shit being destroyed. In short, a fun ride of violence. Get your ticket at the door slamming into someone's face.

Six Things I've Learned from Rumble in the Bronx

1.  I never knew New York had such beautiful mountains!

2. Playing glass bottle baseball in a dead end alley is no way to welcome a visitor to your city. Use plastic bottles first to get them accustomed to your culture.

3. The Syndicate practices unfair hiring practices by only hiring large giant headed white guys in suits. I'm sure there are many other ethnic types who are large, have giant heads, and also own themselves a nice suit. Don't discriminate assholes!

4. People you have just beat the shit out of will instantly forgive you if you say that you wanna drink tea with them. People love their tea time.

5. While refrigerators should never be used to lock someone in (your safety tip of the day), they are quite fine to use to protect yourself from swords and sticks and in certain cases used to cause concussions by slamming them into your enemies. The more you know.

6. After getting the Syndicate arrested, the cops will have no problems with you driving a hovercraft onto a golf course to run over the head of the Syndicate and expose his buttocks for all to see. It's police procedure.

Friday, September 14, 2012

555 (1988)

555 (!988)
Director: Wally Koz
Stars: Ricardo Alverez, Mara Lynn Bastian,  Greg Kerouac

A crazy bastard dressed as a 60's hippy is out killing badly acting nude couples while the angry cops bitch about it and harass some old guy. Throw in a saggy snooping female reporter willing to do anything to get the scoop (ugh) and you got yourself the makings of a shot on video classick. 

Six Things I've Learned From 555

1. Ed Wood Tips #34: With random diplomas, a desk, and a small couch, any room can become a police station! Just add cops.

2.  OK, how fucking hard is it to find someone dressed like a 60's hippy in the late 1980's? Was there suddenly a trend of looking like you stepped off an episode of The Wonder Years?

3. Tired of having a sex drive? Be sure to watch the butt ugly reporter whip out her titty and letting some old guy suck on it. It's boner reducing magic!

4. One positive thing about this film is that the decapitation scene is pretty well done. Not real believable but still well done.

5. These guys may be the angriest cops on the face of the earth. Even Dirty Harry would be like "whoa bald guy, let's dial it down a notch".

6. If you make a movie this bad, only your family is stupid enough to help you make it. For shame Koz family.

Monday, September 10, 2012

Wide Weird World of Cult Radio Show 15!

Returning with an all new radio show filled with cult's finest music and trailers, Dan takes his show every other week so he can partake in a long time passion of his...sponge climbing. But never fear (you over there...stop shaking), Dan has a killer lineup just for you. Well not you...you smell. The person next to you...yeah them.


Listen Here!

                                             

Track Listing

Intro
Redemption (Rocky 2)- Bill Conti
Theme from Kung Pow: Enter the Fist
End Theme from Demons 3: The Ogre
UHF Trailer
Insight (Nightmare Detective)
Maniac Manson NES Theme
Knights Trailer
Dan's Wrestling Doubleshot Intro
No Holds Barred Theme - Jim Johnston
Pencil Neck Geek - Classy Freddie Blassie
The Sister Bomber (Robogeisha)- Tatakae Gattai Geisha
Bloddy Pom-Poms Ending Credits- Murielle and Joel Hamilton
Great Moments in Cult Cinema - Dhali Llama scene in Caddyshack
Sittin on the Side of the Road (Michael)- Andie Macdowell
Little Black Dress (Shock Treatment)- Cast
The Room Trailer
Time to Change- Brady Bunch
Mr. Johnathon (Black Shampoo) - Gerald Lee
Hovercraft/Main Theme (Westworld)
These Days (Royal Tennebaums) - Nico
Shura No Hana (Lady Snowblood) - Meiko Kaji
Closing Segment
The Meaning of Life - Eric Idle

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Dazed and Confused (1993)

Dazed and Confused (1993)
Director: Richard Linklater
Stars: Jason London, Parker Posey, Matthew McConaughey

This movie takes us back in time to 1976 on the last day of school in Texas. The school quarterback just wants to party and get high, but his tight ass coach wants him to sign a waiver from having fun. We also look into the life of soon to be freshman Mitch, who must avoid paddling and find love (or lust at least). Also Ben Affleck gets paint poured on him, something I want to do daily.

Just a sidenote, this is the 100th post on WWWofCF! Who knew I could stay with something this long? Here's to post 1000 sometime this century!

Six Things I've Learned From Dazed and Confused

1. I've learned that "wipe that face off your head" is not a good response while waiting in line at the store. I wasn't suppose to be the 12th item!

2. There's a drinking game where you take a drink whenever Mitch touches his nose. I got alcohol poisoning and am going to AA meetings.

3. I really want to punch that Kevin Pickford guy in the face. Apparently so did the actor playing Pink.

4. As a nerd, I shared the pain when the frizzy headed nerd punched the greaser and then got his ass kicked. Stand up for yourself my ass!

5. If you look 12, chances are the cashier isn't gonna give a shit and sell you beer.

6. Matthew McConaughey made it alright alright alright to be a creepy pervert. Orange pants not included.