Night of the Dribbler (1990)
Director: Jack Bravman
Stars: Fred Travalena, Gregory Calpakis, Flavia Carrozzi
The Watergate Plumbers, a poorly-performing college basketball team, lose their best players one by one to death and dismemberment at the hands of a mysterious masked stalker.
Six Things Learned from Night of the Dribbler
1. Heads make for good basketball substitutes.
2. Elvis impersonators moonlight as basketball players.
3. Your coach is the next best thing to your father.
4. Hypnosis can help you with your basketball skills.
5. Basketballs can double as bombs.
6. Science professors hate basketball.